2002-08-22 05:51:32 (UTC)


so i put into organized thought today this: i havent
really been smoking anymore because i pretty much always
feel stoned. i said this when i was in italy but im not
entirely sure this is the same.
today, i walked to the park. sat on my bench, and marvelled
about how i ALWAYS come here ALWAYS sit on my bench and
ALWAYS find different, totally different things to look at.
it started with me looking up, up at this tree full of
leaves except at the very top, a few bare branches, and i
just thought that through my sunglasses, against the sky,
those tiny leaveless branches were simply the most
beautiful thing. and when i notice something like that,
everything becomes the most beautiful thing, everything my
eyes can see, ears can hear and i got lost, very lost, in
everything around me.
i was listening to a cd i made on the headphones, as loud
as it could go (as always) and each song was just as
perfect as the last. i imagined some kind of hybrid music
video/movie where there is no dialouge only very loud song
and very simple images, images you always see. the sun low
in the late afternoon sky, glittering the water and the
glittering cars crossing the triboro bridge. to pj harvey
singing "zaz turned blue"
and i had two drinks at mcanns tonight, sitting by myself
and smoking ciggarettes i tried to sit up straight and was
immersed in what was going on around me. the six green pool
table lights were almost hypnotizing. the practically naked
very dark black girl touching the necklace and arm of a
very white guy whose black shirts top 4 or 5 buttons were
undone, revealing his hairless chest.
couples talking, touching knees, inner thighs
groups of friends, drinking and drinking, smoking and
the two married guys next to me talking about their wives
that were there last week, talking about their wives
the bartender taking a dinner break, sitting at the other
end of the bar, eating fish
the 50 something tv's, all flashing different channels,
everything moving so fast, flashing, every image i rested
my eyes on perfectly matching the beat of the techno song
blasting from the jukebox
i think techno is just the beat of humans moving
listen to any kind of techno beat in your car and watch
everyone walking. everyone is walking to the beat . all of