Reality Bites
2002-08-22 05:49:41 (UTC)

Somewhere out there

Today was busy-I had work then practice right in a row so
that was nice and tiring. Michael called and wants me to
come over on Friday night but I'm so drained that I dont
wanna drive 2 hrs there and 2 hours home especially since
I'd be leaving at like 1 probably. I have a Varsity
sleepover tomarrow night which should be interesting. The
football players come in the morning and make us breakfast
which is funny. Good thing I dont eat breakfast is all I
have to say. I get to see Luke though which'll be SO great.
He called last night after I got offline and was worried
that I was mad at him cause Rob and Jon and Steven saw him
at the gym and yelled at him and said I was mad at him and
how he needed to treat me nicer. Lol, funny thing is, that
I wasnt mad at him at all yesterday. They were just being
assholes to him for no reason, which is fine with me, cause
Lucas needs a little wakeup call:). So yes Luke called me
and we talked for 2 hours bordering on 3 and he was so
sweet! I can't get to close to him, I know that. But it's
so hard to remember that when he's telling me how great I
looked when he saw me for the first time in 3 months, and
when he tells me he loves me. It makes me feel complete.
But the thing is, is that when he is not around and not
calling and not talking to me, I feel such a huge void and
its not good for me. I havent talked to him tonight yet, so
I probably wont until Friday morning. That's fine with me

Today I ate around 900 calories today, so terrible I know!
I feel bad about it. I feel like a huge cow. I need to do
better than this--my life depends on it, who's gonna love
me if I don't get thinner