The SINS that I commit..
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2002-08-20 22:31:03 (UTC)

Losing Control of Reality

I am, I am truly losing control of everyone and everything
around me or have to do with me. I have been dieting and
working out for a week now and since I am retaining water I
am doing nothing but gaining weight and it's freakin'
pissing me off!! I am desperate to lose this weight, I want
to so bad. If I don't my life will never be completely
happy. I have a perfection problem, everything about me or
what I do has to be perfect. If not, then it's all crap.
Done in vain. I don't even think all this is worth it. WHy
fool myself?
I always act the way I want to be. WHO AM I? I lost
all idenity of myself. I don't know where I come from other
then where I was born, I dont know my parents I don't know
my life.. I don't know anything about me. All I do is live
a life that is intriguing to other people or mysterious.
WHERE IS ME? When Will I be able to find who I am. How long
do I have to wait? I don't think i can. This is just too
depressing. I swear if something doesn't happen...