gabby

cosmic ski slopes
2001-07-15 01:48:59 (UTC)

CRASH & burn

Well... It all came crashing down. My two months with MY
Mr. Perfect ended in a 3 minute and 25 second conversation
in which I was told it's impossible for Nick to
be "emotionally attatched" to someone he only sees "once a
month".
I promptly told him that I had to get back to work, even
though I was sitting on my swing-chair on my back porch.
I'm going insane, I miss him and I can't stop thinking
about him and he's probably not even thinking twice about
me. The worst part is that there's nothing I can do about.
I can't try and change his mind... I can't even dial his
number because I'm afraid of what he would say, or that I
wouldn't. Everything around here reminds me about him,
everything right down to my pillow that he slept on and
still smells like him; my scrap-book that's filled with
pictures of him; or the outfits I've worn when I've been
with him... I'm just going insane and drowing in cludder
from everything that's happened. I love him. But it's doing
me no good at all to dwell on all of this crap, I just miss
him and I'll probably be missing him for a while- so it
doesn't matter.
Anyway, I emailed Brian today, I'm sick of not speaking to
him. It's not summer without him hanging all over my couch
and taking over my fidge and forcing me to watch Wayne's
World three times a week. And I miss Manda. We're kinda
being okay with each other again... just starting though.
Me and Sara are getting back to normal- with a few modern
adjustments. I'm ok with everythgin if we don't talk much
as long as we can come back to eachother.
Well, I'm gonna go-
-vele


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