Aa-chan

Diary of a Deranged Fangirl
2002-08-20 13:32:13 (UTC)

Sayonara Philadelphia

Note the use of the permanent goodbye. Yes kiddies, this
is it. The end. Tuto Fini. Tonight I leave for Anchorage
and my stomach couldn't be more upset. The self-doubt is
gone at least. I had a good cry this morning and didn't
really realize I was crying until I noticed that the tears
wouldn't stop. I was laying on my left side, just thinking
and suddenly I began to cry... I felt a little better
after that, but I'm still scared. It's like Shujin-San
said yesterday, it's a big step. Kristin and J'aime said
everything is going to be alright. And deep in my heart I
know that's true. It's just that leaving is the very
hardest part. You know, even Anthy at the end of Utena
hesitated before she left Ohtori Academy, but she did leave.

So in the grandest of styles, nothing of mine is shipped
yet. And why, because Mom just hasn't gotten around to
doing it. We leave tonight and half of my clothes are
waiting to be shipped. Not to mention my sheets, bath
towels and other supplies. Let alone all my electronic
shit. Oh god. It's like Kristin said last night, waiting
to ship and pack things even our leaving today is a form of
denial. And maybe if she didn't do these things she could
keep me here just a little while longer. But I'll let it
go. Now's not the time for this....

Right now I feel kinda good, despite a massive
stomachache. I'm looking forward to leaving tonight. I'll
miss not having a computer, but you know, these things
happen, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it. I told
everyone that the first week since I'll be computerless
I'll probably be calling everyone that I know. I keep
hearing that Alaska is the perfect place to be if you want
to be alone. That's kinda what I want for the time being,
but really I'd rather be alone with J'aime, Shujin-San, and
Kristin....

Oh well, my destiny awaits! Sayonara Philadelphia!!!

Woo-hoo: Much like the al.ni.co song Until the Rain Ends
goes, I'm leaving tonight!

Barf: I'm really scared. But as someone said once, when
you give into the fear, the darkness comes. Oh yeah, that
was from Metal Gear Solid 2.

Current Song: al.ni.co's Until The Rain Ends




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