My Reality
Ad 2:
2002-08-20 03:07:50 (UTC)

Courtship, a forgotten art or buried treasure?

So yes there are a few out there who will sweep you off
your feet and there are a few who will really give you
your dream, but is it the dream that once was? Do guys
really give you their class ring to wear anymore, do they
open car doors, pull out chairs and offer you their arm
when you go out for a night on the town? Not really, or at
least not in my experiences.
Thus far there have been a few that had a few nice
qualities about them. There have been a few who have
offered a few nice things that would imply good old
fashion courtship but nothing really special. A random
holding of the door or a one time shot at having your
chair pulled out for you, but what about the big stuff. I
am fairly old fashion in the fact that I like a man to
WANT to meet my family and get to know my history. I want
a man who is trying to plan a future and who is cautious.
I need to find a guy who is going to mix romance with
sensibility and intelligence. Is that possible, or am I
living in a fairly tale dream that exists only in the
When did it become ok for a man not to meet your
family? At what point did society decide that mom and dad
didn’t deserve the right to meet your significant other.
No I live in a time where females pick up their
counterparts at the curb with the honk of a horn and you
jet off to some nightclub, frat party or classless bar
that offers no intimate setting, no way to converse and
absolutely no true hint of romance.
I think in general society has become way too
obsessed with the idea of immediate gratification. While
surrounded by fast food and fast paced life, we are
accustomed to having it our way right away and are unable
to see that the good things take time and that some things
are worth waiting for. I think todays youth has
completely given up on the idea of hard work and
determination to achieve what they truly want. If what we
want cant be handed to us in a nice pretty pre-packaged
box then we don’t want it because working for it or
standing line to achieve it is just going to slow us
down. Now now now. that’s all we think about. What
about the future, what about our lives that matter what
about the people that we will meet along the way, who the
hell says that what we do now isnt going to affect what we
do then.
Think about it. Today we have grown accustomed to
random casual sex, blatant open sexuality, and we leave
nothing to the imagination. We show all tell all and will
answer anything that is thrown at us. What happened to
having to get to know someone before you shared all of the
intimate details of your life. Why not stop share your
beliefs and get to know the person before you go any
further because down the road you might look back and not
like what you see.
I am not saying that people who came before us
were flawless and they were so much better than us. They
were just so much different than us. They were family
oriented, they had a sense of planning for the future and
they were ready to work for what they wanted no matter how
hard it was, if they wanted it they were going to go for
it. Admittedly all generations have their screw ups and
difficulties that make them a joke to others, but I think
as whole I view my generations as pretty weak. What can
we handle what do we have to offer, how hard do we really
work and when do we realize that life isn’t going to be
handed to us, that it is hard work and takes a lot of
What the hell happened to fifty year wedding
anniversaries and relishing in your 35 grandchildren. Does
this matter to no one? What happened to starting your life
ten dollars in debt crossing the state lines to get
married before you are legal and staying together a
lifetime because you have worked and tried and trudged
through everything together and cant help but love one
another more and more each day because of all the things
you have accomplished in your life, together. That
generation can look at their kids and see accomplishments,
they can look at the friends they have made and the places
they have been to know where they are today. My
generation looks at how much money we have, the size of
our homes, the pointless material things we can buy and
the amount of partying we can do. The things that matter
in life don’t really phase us because we are so occupied
with material things and instant happiness. We aren’t
willing to put time into something we want, we don’t want
to have to wait fifty years to appreciate something. We
just want to experience it and move on. Why?
I think also, that they have the courtship
advantage over our generation because they valued things
that were worth valuing then. They saw family, and
religion, and they looked at work and finances and they
put them all together to get what they valued. They knew
that it wasn’t a new bmw that would catch our eye, it was
a single pearl on a cheap necklace that would mean more to
us than anything in this world. It was selling your
favorite old mustang to buy the children what they
needed. They could see that working sixty hour work weeks
was worth the pay off and a day off was something to
relish. That wives were the ones that kept things
together and fathers were the support. I am in no way
trying to be sexist, but what in the world happened to
male and female characteristics, that today you cant
distinguish between the male and the female. I think that
the male is the one to pick the girl up and offer to pay
for dinner (at least on the first date to prove himself)
and I think that the males should do the romancing. The
female should support her male in anyway possible. And
take care of him like a wife should. Yes things can get
reversed but only after time. I think that the girl
should cook for her man and the girl should be aloud to be
a little insecure and a little dependent. That is her
right, and the man should comfort her and take care of her
and provide. I think it is a give and take kind of
situation that has all but disappeared.
In college, I am now surrounded by women who cant
cook, men who treat women as their whores/bitches, in
place of the caring individuals they are, and a lot of sex
that shouldn’t be had. It is a scene that I would like to
separate myself from because I do not want to be
associated with things like that.
Just because I am a college girl does not mean
that I go to keggers and get drunk and screw as many frat
guys as I can get my hands on, I don’t sleep around, I
don’t like one nighters, I don’t want to have fifteen
different boyfriends and I don’t want to experiment with
other girls. I don’t have the random shower encounter,
and I don’t get into porn. I don’t want to discuss the
length of penises, the right way to give head and I don’t
want to have numerous men over to my room to let me gain
knowledge of how to get it on properly.
Its called courtship. You find someone you are
attracted to. You get to know them. You spend time with
them, you try to impress them with gestures that matter,
you try to care for them and make sure that their life
goes well. You want to meet their family, see childhood
photos, go to the reunions, meet your oldest best friend,
know your fears, know your beliefs, and know where you
want to go in life and where you dont want to end up.
Courtship is something that is all but nonexistent. It
isn’t just an action, it’s a process that takes years and
patience. It takes having a true interest in who someone
is what they are what they aspire to be and what they want
to avoid at all cost. It takes a genuine trust between
two people. It takes a lot of effort and a lot of
strength. It isn’t something that you will stumble across
its something that you wont realize until you are in too
deep. Its being away from someone for a week and
realizing you miss them unbelievably, its thinking abut
your future and unexpectedly having them by your side
wherever you go and whatever you do. I do believe
courtship is still to be had but it takes someone who
believes in good old fashion values, and true love. It
takes someone who isn’t afraid to work for what they
want. It isn’t for the light hearted and it isn’t for
someone who is only willing to see their side, because
when you truly love someone, there is only one side. You
are no longer just a person you are a couple. And no it
doesn’t have to be that typical male dominated 1950s
headache. It can be something that turns you into the old
couple sitting on the porch holding hands and sipping
lemonade after decades of marriage. that’s right decades.
that’s what courtship is. It isn’t just a phase and it
isn’t something you do just to win someone over. Its
something that lasts a lifetime. It is a feeling that
makes you want to still try and please someone else before
you please yourself because they are that important to
you, and if its true, then that will last till the day you
die! If you can continue to court each other long after
you are together than you are really made for one
another. that’s all I want. A good old fashion boy who
will continue to woo me long after he knows I am his,
because I will not offer my true love any less!