My Reality
Ad 2:
2002-08-20 03:06:49 (UTC)

Great sex, a myth? Naw, just be vocal, and if all else fails, hand signals and que cards work in a pinch

So I am very inexperienced, I will be the first to admit I
have very little idea what to do once I actually get into
the bedroom, I mean I know what I want and I know what I
want to give the other person, but when it comes down to
it, either I havent the confidence, or fear not pleasing
the other so much that it spooks me out of doing much of
anything other than lying there and moaning in pleasure.
Ok, so I do give the eye contact, the fingernails
in the back, the random placement of legs along the waist,
legs, and back area, but that’s about all I can offer,
giving head it situational, and depends fully on the
timing, receiving I am all about, but much past that and I
freak out. I would love to try different positions but
they worry me just a little, not only do they take away
from the eye contact and loving embrace that missionary
gives you, but it allows the body to be seen in angles
that just weren’t meant to be, and for someone who views
herself as the little fat girl, it makes things a bit
Yes I know very bad of me to use examples when
talking sex, but “J” was the epidemy of what I want in
bed. Hand holding, gazing eyes, loving embraces, long
deep kisses, covering the full body, someone who worships
my body at whatever angle may be offered. After all of
the talks we had, it seemed that “J” had making love, not
just getting it on, down to a true art. It seemed like he
was reading my mind. I want someone to take hours on end
just pleasing me, I need someone who is ok with the fact
that I am timid. I need someone who is willing to take his
time and try over and over and over again to get me used
to something and get me comfy with what we are doing. I
want someone who is going to be like a teacher, who will
offer suggestions in the most romantic of ways and who has
no quams about flat out explaining something.
“J” was more than willing to say I will do
whatever it takes to make you comfortable, and if I cant I
will do my best to never do what makes you uncomfortable,
and because of this reassurance that he gave me for the
first time in my life I could openly talk about sex and I
could openly share my wants and desires, yes I was still a
little reserved but only out of fear that he would take my
forwardness the wrong way, which isn’t his fault, its
mine. I didn’t want to come off sex crazed or unladylike,
which is more of what society has done to me and not any
To me, its never been sex, its always been making
love, which is sappy and hopelessly romantic, but true. I
realize there will come a time when I am with someone that
I love and we will have sex for sex sake, not just because
we love each other, but sheerly out of pure animal
magnetism. Which is great, but I need someone to make
love to me before I crave them animalistically.
Making love, it’s a simple phrase that embodies a
lot. To me this act requires a lot of loving touches,
deep kissing, and hand holding, it’s the way you approach
someone that makes the difference. If you want to caress
their entire body and make them tingle all over, then you
are making love to them. If you want to fuck them till
they sweat, then you are simply having sex. To me,
positions, toys, accessories have very little importance.
They are fun as hell and can add a lot of excitement to
the mixture, but that comes later, when you know each
other and feel very comfortable with each others thoughts
feelings and true desires. This all takes a long time to
learn and yes it might seem like I am a little too
obsessed with the idea but that’s whats going to make me
an animal one day for some lucky man.
I know that if I were ever to get to be with “J“,
he would turn me into a true sex kitten. He is so great
at making me feel at ease and making me crave more new and
exciting things, he is the first to open me up to new
territory that I thought I would never even think about bc
it didn’t seem like it was for me. But now I see that it
isn’t just about me. If you are with someone that you
really care about than you want to please them too, and by
making them happy you become more at ease with different
things, bc in the end they are worth it.
Vibrator. it’s a wonderful thing that I want to
invest in actually bc of “J“. Lube sounds like fun bc of
how “J” has explained it. Being eaten out, which by the
way is a phrase I hate, sounds like a total rush and very
intimate bc of the numerous times “J” told me in detail
how he wished to perform it on me. Positions that I
didn’t know existed were like new recipes I wanted to
try. Making love in the shower was a big no no until “J”
told me how he wanted to get me all dirty and then clean
me up again. Being tied up was something that I feared on
many levels. Not for fear of rape but for fear of true
enjoyment and fear of being that revealed. When you are
free to move, you can cover yourself up, and I didn’t want
him to see me that naked but after a while I realized that
he loved my body and all I wanted to do was show it off to
him because I loved the reaction that I got. Sending
dirty pics of me sounded like the work of a true pervert,
but if that is true then crown me queen of the perverts,
cause I took it all off for him.. Ok maybe not all but
most, I just couldn’t bring myself to show him down below
for fear that he would see my pudge. (which by the way
he thinks doesn’t exist)
Sex sounds wonderful and until I was with “J” or
talked to “J” or whatever you want to call it, I was in
fear of it because it was new and uncomfy and definitely
something I knew little of, but he took me in opened my
world to something different and gave me the confidence to
want to love sex, but now I am just hanging by a thread
because I never got to sleep with him so I can never
unleash the animal he has created…ok ok so I am not that
animalistic but I would sure treat him right and do all
that I can to make him happy, I would go down on him
without blinking, I would give him a hand job until he
exploded with joy and I would make love to him like no one
has ever done before, hell I even contemplated being on
top which just proves how much I want him, because I loath
being on top, but somehow I feel that he would end up
making me love it crave it and beg for it on a regular
basis because he is that damn amazing, I have hope for him
because he deserves it! I love you baby and one day I
will have the chance to show you how much you’ve been on
my mind and in my heart, and well, haha elsewhere!