My Reality
Ad 2:
2002-08-20 03:03:26 (UTC)

Why exactly do we date, anyways?

Love, sex, excitement, heartbreak, torment, and lots of
deceit. A lovely mixture that’s thrown into the
concoction, we call the salad bowl of dating. So if it
involves all of this why the hell do we do it? Is it pure
pleasure, do we as a nation like to inflict pain upon
ourselves, are we that starved for attention, is there a
need to have someone around to prove you are capable, or
is it still the primal instinct of must reproduce?
Pure pleasure? Hell no! dating is far from being
pure pleasure. You’ve got the akward attempt to ask
someone out or to be asked out, either way it’s a sticky
situation because you never know the response, be it I
have a man/woman/pet, I used to be a man, I am a
dendrephiliac, or why in the hell would I want you, its
gonna always make you nervous. The first date is always a
daunting task. Are you old fashion and feel the man does
the work and the paying, are you independent and want to
take care of yourself, where the hell do you go, what if
you like seafood and she is allergic to shrimp, you have
to think about all of these things or else you end up with
a lot of horrible surprises and extreme disappointments.
There is of course the first akward reach for the boobs,
the weird goodnight kiss, tongue, no tongue, call me don’t
call me, meet my parents, runaway screaming, do a happy
dance, its all a lot of confusion that in the end leaves
you with a huge feeling of inadequacy, even if you have
found someone that likes you, you still feel in some way
you haven’t lived up to your full potential as the one to
fulfill their dreams.
Is it a self inflicted wound that many choose to
take upon themselves?
I mean we really ask for it don’t we? We put all we have
on the line, we share those intimate details with one
another, we spend our valuable time to be with that
special one, we spend money, we go out of our way to
please them, we try anything for them, hell we even let
them see us naked, and in the end what do we get? A whole
lot of nothing really. Things change, people change,
PEOPLE MOVE, we get older and more set in our ways , or on
a more morbid note, we die, the wind blows in a different
direction and suddenly we are left with this stranger
beside of us who is holding our hand, gazing into our
eyes, and imagining our kids, as you squirm at the idea
that you would have to sleep with them to produce such
mongrels, and oh god would you have some ugly kids.
Horrible thoughts yes, but none the less we as humans put
ourselves in these situations. No one makes us, we chose
to be with that person and we chose to go down that road
and take the big steps and see where it gets us. Why? In
the end, it’s a lifetime of torment and disappointment,
are the few moments of greatness when someone fucks up and
stumbles onto the right thing to say or the right gift to
give to make you cry or the correct way to get your
attention with a single look across the room really worth
the rest of the bitching moaning and out and out bullshit
we have to go through to get those moments of glory really
worth it? Who knows, you can only figure that out once
life has gone by and you look back on it, and that usually
happens just before you die, so if it really was
wonderful, you really only get to enjoy it a few seconds
before its all over anyways.
LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME! Attention everyone, I need
to be loved and I need to be loved now! This is what we
all say, sure we have our own little ways of showing it,
but as a species, we collectively have a way of craving
attention and begging to be loved. Is this why we date,
to find someone to fulfill that need? And if it is, then
isn’t that kinda shallow and superficial? Well that’s just
my opinion. Yes everyone needs someone to kiss their ass
and tell them they are wonderful, everyone needs that
person who will put up with their bullshit and say they
are right and the world is wrong, and of course everyone
needs that person who will reassure them that they are as
great as they perceive themselves to be. This is why we
date huh, to find that person who is capable of reading
the signs, finding someone who loves us enough to weed
through all of the bullshit and all of the crap to get to
a person that they can stand enough to be around for a few
decades, doesn’t mean they are great doesn’t mean that
they are worth it, but they can stand you, so its better
than being alone forever and having to continue dating.
We get the attention we need to feel good about ourselves,
and the rest of it is just a perk really.
Status, it’s a simple concept, I have the bigger
stick, my home is better, I have a bigger engine, the list
goes on and on to suit everyone’s genre. But isn’t dating
really a good way of expressing status? It shows you are
capable of winning someone over, it shows you can be loved
and it shows that you have what it takes to keep someone
around for a period of time, whatever that reason may be,
be it money, sex, looks, personality, or whatever else
someone might be attracted to. Having a fine girl on your
arm or Suzy homemaker in your kitchen, either way you go a
man can show off to others what he has earned, whether he
did it in a noble fashion or bribed her into that
positions, he has still kept a prize of some form, big
heart, big breasts, lots of love, or great sex, he has
earned that no matter how you look at it, so now in
whatever way possible, he is going to show off his trophy
and let the world now he was good enough in some form,
though he may not even know why or how, that he got the
girl. (and of course it works both ways, but typically
men are just the example to use for whatever reason that
may be.)
Finally, is it still instilled in us that we have
to find that suitable mate to come together with us to
form the perfect combination of traits to produce a
superior child? I think in some ways it is, though we are
not always as successful in getting the right people
together for the job. I think that in a lot of ways, we
as human beings have a lot a stress built up in ourselves
to be a good person and to find qualities that appeal to
us in others, so that we can give into our primal
instincts, mate and reproduce. Yeah it doesn’t sound as
appealing as candlelit dinners and walks on the beaches,
but a man/woman hunt for appealing qualities that would be
beneficial in creating a superior generation of young know
it alls does seem to be a goal in many peoples lives. No
it isn’t romantic and no it isn’t the ideal plan for our
lives, but when you think about it, it is a big part of
our lives that we don’t usually take note of. We want to
find someone good enough, not only for us, but for our
kids. We want to know that we can fuck that person and
come up with someone twice as smart as our parents, double
the income of ourselves, and have the confidence of
superheroes. We want to build a superior population with
each generation, so the next time you see that hot chick
in a bar, or that sexy male model in the mall, go straight
to the source of that appeal. SEX! Yes you want to fuck
them and you want to be seen with them. Why? Because
subconsciously, you want to have proof that such an
astoundingly amazing person was with you. Your kids are
proof that you roped a winner! (well, actually that isn’t
always the case, sometimes kids are just proof of a
drunken night that went a little too far, and you are
reminded of it daily as you look into there adorable
crossed eyes, so keep that image in your head the next
time you are feeling frisky. Do you really want to present
that to the world as your proof of your past?)’s a four letter word to most. A definite
double edged sword that pokes and prods us all into
submission. Though yes it has its benefits, it is always
going to be hell on earth that makes us quiver in fear and
ponder they question…why? Why in the hell do I put myself
through this….will it really be worth it one day, and if
it is, will I have proof, and when its all said and done
and I am faced with the end, will I really look back on it
and like what I see, or will it be a downward spiral that
all started with the phrase, “so what are you doing Friday