Kat Eyes
2002-08-19 20:54:25 (UTC)

august 19, 2002

well, its officla. dad and i are moving out to california.
and this decison wasn't the result of a nasty blow-up. dad
calmly pulled me aside last night and told me. i ran across
the street to nick's house and i cried in his arms. it was
horrible. then when i got back home dad and lissa and i sat
down in my room and we started talking about whats going
on. they were very calm about it too, which i was surprised
to see. dad got a job in orlando installing fire alarms
last week. the starting pay is what he was getting in
california, which is incredible for here. he started his
job today. here's the plan: dad stays here w/ his job until
he makes enough money to move our stuff back to cali, and
support us once we return. grandma and grandpa flew to
pittsburg on buisness today, and they won't be back until
like sunday. when they come back, i'll fly out to see them
and i'll live with them and go to skool at mhs until dad
gets back out here and we move back into our old house. i
don't know whats going to happen with hazel, and i really
don't care. its mean, i know, but i don't. and lissa got a
new puppy the other day. hes a lab/chow mix and his name is
ranger. dad says we're taking him too b/c lissa doesn't
want him. registration at mhs is this thursday. dad wants
me to call monrovia high and find out how i can register
myself. i just can't believe it though. i mean skool
started like last week and my life got rolling again. i
was/am doing tigerettes and i got out with nick and i love
him to death and i'd die for him and i'm photo editor for
yearbook and then its like i'm running hellafast and i'm
keeping up w/ the pack and then a big 'ol brick wall
appears in my lane and i can't stop running and its like a
cartoon where my whole body smushes into the wall.nick and
i went to his house last night and we watched training day.
we were lying on his bed, covered in a blanket, watching
the movie. our heads were leaning against each other. i
looked over at him, and i saw a tear that had trickled down
his cheek. i will never forget that. it was just something
i can never erase from my mind. so dad's in orlando today
and the atmosphere in the house is just very.....mixed.
everyone is having fun out in the pool, but when i walk
otuside its like a dark cloud follows me and it infects
everyone else. and they all look at me with sympathetic
faces. i feel like the f***ing grim reeper. and anielle
fell in the kitchen this afternoon. when she landed, she
landed on her bad knee. reese took her to the hospital. and
i think nick took his lil nephew, austin, fishing in the
canal a while ago. when we went over last night nick was
supposed to spend time w/ autin but he didn't b/c we were
both upset so i made nick take austin fishing today. i just
can't believe, i get all depressd when we like drive down
the road b/c i think "could this be my last time driving
down here? could this be thelast time i play pool here, or
see danielle, or see ashley and austin?" its horrible, and
i'd pay any amount of money in the world to get rid of the
feeling. well, i'm gonna go. more later if i'm not doing