tarletondiva

Trials and Tribulations
2002-08-19 18:58:07 (UTC)

Getting closer...

It's Monday, August 19. I haven't written in a while, but
I've been busy.

What's getting closer? The day that I've been dreading and
excited for (if that's possible)...my first day at work. I
have a week and a half. Next Wednesday, the 28th of August
will pretty much help to set the tone with my colleagues
for the next year. God, please don't let me screw it
up. :)

I've been working with the cheerleaders. They're really
sweet. I've got a few attitudes, but other than that, I
think everything is going well. They are adjusting to my
style of dance as well as my coaching methods, but they'll
do just fine. Dee Dee turned out to be easy to work with.
I am afraid that she might screw me later though, so I'm
keeping my eyes open. She seems pretty cool though.

Becca's wedding is Saturday. I can't believe that she is
going to go through with it. I just hope she's happy. It
seems odd to me that they would get married, given how much
they fight and stuff, but I don't see the lovey-dovey
moments behind the scenes I guess. I just want her to be
happy. SHe deserves it.

Graduation went well. I was glad to see my Dad, for what
little time I actually saw him. Dakota is a brat. He's
got issues. He didn't put down the game boy the whole time-
-it didn't matter if we were at the dinner table or not.
If that had been one of us 15 years ago, Dad would've put
the smack down. I guess it's a difficult situation though;
it's not his kid, but he kind of is. Poor Dad. I can
imagine that he goes crazy. Sandy was cool, of course. I
think she tries to hard sometimes, and, although I admire
her "do things only for yourself" attitude, I think it's a
little unrealistic, perhaps bordering on selfish.

Justin came to graduation, but he didn't go to the
reception. I thought it was sweet of him to come all that
way. It was good to see him. He's still the same--the
only thing is that he looks at me with this look, and I'm
not sure what it means. Is he regretful of what he lost?
Is he glad to see me happy? Does he feel awkward seeing me
kiss another man the way I used to kiss him? I have no
idea. I wish he would talk to me. He said he was going to
call so we could catch up, but he hasn't. I sent him a
package with pictures that I thought he might want--the
frat stepping, pictures I took of him at the lake on St.
Patrick's Day. Wow--I still miss him. NOt like that
though. I miss being able to share my life with him. IF
he thinks it needs to be this way, though, I have to
respect his wishes.

Meggan is in Denton now. I wonder how she likes it. I'll
probably get her # from mom and call her in a few days.
She's probably homesick, but she'll never admit it. I am a
little homesick, I must admit. I just miss having people
around...playing with the dogs...little things. I really
want a dog, but I know that it would be unfair to heep it
cooped up in the house while we are gone all day. That's
no way for an animal to live.

Speaking of an empty house...no baby this month either. It
seems like we've been trying forever, even though it's only
been 2 months. I wonder if there's something wrong with
one of us. It seems like I've switched to a 35 days
cycle. That's strange. My insurance kicks in on Sept 1,
so I'm going to go talk to a doctor about it. We want a
child so much, but we have to be patient. Things take
time. Patience, April--patience.

Well, I guess that's all for today. I'm going to highlight
my hair this afternoon--how exciting. Other than that,
I'll be at home. I'm tired of having nothing to do. I
can't wait to have a normal life back again.




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