the world through the eyes of madahorn
2002-08-18 06:09:10 (UTC)

a whole lotta shit

welp, there the whoel ryan thing but thats old news. now
its ok i'm over him, even though all i think about it that
image of fucking shelby...uhh...god life really jsut bited
u in the ass sometimes u know, and there not 1 fucking
thing u can do about it. hmm lets see, i'm in california
right now bored outta my fucking mind cuz my gramma woudnt
let my cousins sleep over cuz she was beign an anal bitch,
i cant talk to my sister cuz shes always a bitch and i
really do think i would be fine never talking to her again
in my life. god i mean really everything i do i'm some
kinda fucking retard, and she tryes to act soooo fucking
cool, but she not shes a prpubesent little shit head, who
is out of control cuz my dad just sits there like a dumb
ass and lets her get away wit shit. i miss ryan, i miss his
laugh, his smile, his jokes, everything. i wish i could
jsut diaapear right now and appear over there at hishouse
for the rest of the night. i'm so fucking bored....i really
wish people werent so dumb really, the world would be so
much better if stupid people would all jsut get a fucking
clue, or dissapear. ahh, thad be nice. all skanky ass girls
would be gone to, the ones that revolve there life around
being tan, and weighing 97 pounds when there 5 foot 7. sad
really, cuz deep down that how all girls really want to
look. i see cute guys everywhere i go, some look at me,
some dont even notice me on account of i personalyl thing i
look like i amd 12 rather than 16. sure i look back. but
theres jsut sumptin bout it that feals funny. god if people
knew 1/2 the shit that goes on in my mnd, i would be in
trouble.but after all is said is done i'm still lil ol me,
tryin to fit in, in this big fucked up world. haha, oh ya
one more thing, i got in a talk wit the gma and my dad bout
gay people and i thing that they r against them, that
really pisses me off, peple r grown to think a certain
thing, its scarry, i mena like the whole fucking catholic
religion sins u if even think bout touching urself. (haha
that y i'm not catholic...just kidding) i really thinl
people should lighten up. and i refuse to go to church
tomorrow wit the family, and listen to some old guy rambel
on bout shit that 1/2 the people dont understand, and the
other 1/2 try to and take what they can and ruine there
lives over it. i dont know what it is wit me and that,
there just something fishy about it. too controoling i
guess, people should be able to make there own decisions,
and have ideas not beliefs, like in DOGMA, u can change an
idea, but its a lot trickier to change a beliefe. ahh i
dunno, once again i'm rambling to try and make time pass so
i get to bed and wake up tomorrow morning, hopefully not to
some cheery god person telling me its time for
church....haha...god if there is heaven and hell, i'm
destined to burn in hell forever, haha....

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