Nate S.

Self Starter
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2002-08-18 05:42:33 (UTC)

We're just passing by...

I spent time with my parents tonight....I've missed them.
We sat down as a family and watched a movie. I'm so busy
with 'my' stuff about 'me'...I forget about them. I don't
see them. I haven't really seen my dad in the past week.
He's usually at work when i wake up and i see him for a
minute or two when he gets home and i'm out the door. I'm
crying, this hurts. Sometimes i think i have things figured
out and i don't realize i'm missing everything.
We watched Shipping News. People hurt in that movie, the
have skeletons in their closets. Secrets burried but just
underneath the surface of their skin. I am one of these
people. I've heard sometimes best place to hide is out in
the open. When you have a secret, it means there is always
the chance someone will find out, and i believe they always
do. When you tell everyone, it's not a secret anymore, and
therefore it's nothing to be feared.
I'm honestly confused at this point in my life. I'm not too
sure what to do with it. Where i am to go. I know a lot of
people feel the same way. I like to serve people. Do things
for others, i don't know if it is born into me, or if i was
taught that is the reason we are here. A mans father died
in this movie; he left a message for his son, that this man
had nothing to live for yet he kept on going but it was all
in vain because "nobody gave him anything," I asked my
self, what did he give?
I think a part of me is still scared to love; to open up
and love somebody. As far as i can search my heart i'm not
scared to lose someone or thier love but i fell more
inclined that i'm scared i might let them down...break
another promise.

Nathaniel Stiers


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