Latreia

Interior
2002-08-18 04:53:27 (UTC)

no man is worth your tears

i just called him. hes at great america with his sister
says his mom. it seems as though shes finally taken a
liking to me. i wish he liked me that much. i can tell by
the sound of his voice that he doesnt care to hear from me.
i just called to say hi. it sounds like youre busy. "ok" he
says. im sorry. i wish your cell phone was off so i can
tell you that im sorry. its hard for me to say things like
that. and i wish i had text messaging so i could tell you
that i wish you could just brush everything off the way i
brush everything off when you say sorry. like when you
sensed that i was mad one night and the next morning i
recieved five text messages from you telling me that you
were sorry and that you love me. i was so happy that of
course i wasnt mad anymore. well im sorry and i love you.
well see what you think of me now.

it makes me sad when you are unhappy. and its makes me sad
when youre mad. and it makes me sad to know that i was the
cause of those feelings. i am such a pushover when it comes
to you. i wish you made me made and put me down so you
wouldnt have to feel that way. i feel the need to suffer
for you so you dont have to. its as if it is ok for you to
treat me bad because i know that it doesnt affect you and
you wont be the one suffering through emotions. and when
you finally get a sense of how i feel, i want to be the one
suffering and just take that sense away from you. God i
care about you so damn much. it makes me sick of how much i
would give up and do for you. i give up my pride for you,
but i dont feel like i am getting much in return for my act
of kindness. and yet i feel like i dont need it to know
that i still love you so much.

they say "no man is worth your tears and the only one who
is will never make you cry." i cry thinking about you
almost every night. and on the other nights im too tired
from crying that i have no energy to. why do you make me
feel this way. loving you is a pain. do you suffer the way
i do and still love me to death? how much do you love me
jay, i want to know that i have this much of an affect on
you as you have on me. tell me.




Ad: