justme

My Life.............
2002-08-17 15:14:26 (UTC)

Got a letter from Rose today,..

Got a letter from Rose today, it made me feel alot better,
i sent her a picture of me, shes happy for me about all the
weight i lost, she said i dont look 190 pounds i look
smaller, and i actually i weigh 180 something now, ok, i
guess now i dont have to be ashamed, i used to weigh 300
pounds, it will be a year in september, its been a long
hard struggle, but, it was worth it, so many times ive
tried to lose weight and i always failed, but, i guess you
can only take so much of the name calling before you crack,
i think what really did it was when one day i bent down to
tie my nieces shoe, i couldnt get back up, luckily there
was a garbage can there or i would have been laying on the
ground....
my biggest fear is that i will disapoint everyone else and
gain the weight back, i dont want to disapoint myself
either but for some reason that doesnt bother me as much,
im so scared that i will gain it back, ill never change
what im doing to lose but its always in the back of my
head, i never want to be that weight again, and now i cant
work out for awhile because the place i go was flooded, i
dont know when that will be fixed, i depended so much on
that, i know i had lost alot before i started going there,
it just scares me, i try and walk more than my 2 walks a
day, and with having taylor its not easy....
Please god, dont let me gain that weight back!!!!!!!!!