justme

My Life.............
2002-08-17 14:46:36 (UTC)

lastnight.....

after my sister came home from work lastnight, we went to
the bar looking for Bobby and Bill (tay stayed at a friends
house), and i knew they were still at the bar cause they
were there when i walked up past earlier, and there they
sat, so we sat down and after they were done playing pool
with other people they played with me and Holly, i was
Bobby's partner and Holly was Bill's, and i have no idea
how to play pool, so that was kind of funny, but, i did
have fun cause i got to spend time with Bobby, i told him
lastnight that i missed him, but, it didnt seem to do any
good, i screwed things up big time, i guess now the only
thing to do is just be his friend, and keep the love i have
for him locked away deep in my heart, and hope that someday
he will want it again, i know he still loves me, he even
told Holly that he would like to go back with me, he cant
trust me, bottom line, and i wish with everything that i
could take all the pain i caused him back, if i knew then
what i know now Bill would have never happened..:(
I keep going over everything in my mind, i wish Bobby
could have gotten away from his mother, i wish she wouldnt
have hated me so much, i wish Bill never would have come on
to me, and i wish i wouldnt have fallen for his lies, but,
wishing does me no good, it doesnt change anything....
Am i heartbroken?? did i really love Bill?? am i in love
with Bill?? I dont know, i know that im confused, im hurt
and angry, im more angry at myself than i am at Bill, he
was drunk and he didnt know what he was doing.....
After all this theres still a bright spot in my life,
Cory, i told him everything and he doesnt blame me for
anything, i cant wait till he comes home and we can get out
of this town and start building a life together, i dont
know when it will happen, all i can do is
wait....................