my courage
2002-08-17 07:17:20 (UTC)

back from sc

i'm kinda sad, & apprehensive about the new school year.
I'm the only one who has changed. crew has gone on w/o me.
i was so pumped, but now that i'm back in reality, these
dreams have come to a srceeching halt. just looking at a
few photos has me scared. waht am i scared of? rejection?
i'm not sure really. i've got to figure out exactly what
i'm scared of, so that i can face it. i couldn't even
bring myself to write a simple e-mail to mike. i've gotta
bring my self to do this. if anything, to be able to see
nick in the spring. he is that important to me. also i am
in love with the sport. i seriously miss is so much that it
hurts. i can't look at anything that reminds me of it w/o
being sad. which sucks suz i pass the river every day.
while i was at camp, i only had happy thoughts about crew.
can i bring myself back into that state of confidence &
happiness? i won't find out unless i ask. remember, it is
YOUR fears that are stopping you. this is it! NO FIMAGE!
live in the moment girl, remember, no regrets! yea!!!

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