Shades of Green

~To Dream so Vivid~
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2001-07-13 06:46:30 (UTC)

Sunlit Meadow, Amongst Shadowed Trees

I'm in such a good mood right now. It's evening, on
the 12th of July, and I just got back from Balboa Park. In
the beginning, today, I was depressed, because I was still
confused about my relationship with the girl I am in love
with. To tell the truth, I'm still a bit confused, since
we didn't have a chance to talk at length about it, but...
for now, it doesn't matter. I know that She loves me, and
that I love Her. The problems aren't gone, but I'm feeling
strong enough to pull through.
She picked me up today at around two in the afternoon,
and brought along two of Her friends. From there, we drove
all the way down to Balboa Park to meet up with our friends
from Texas. At first, my problems were still plaguing my
mind, but after She took my hand, after She looked at my
eyes and gave my fingers a light squeeze, everything felt
better. And they stayed that way, all throughout the day
and evening.
It's funny, how such a small thing, can lead to such a
beautiful day. I think I've been changing a bit, with each
little thing. I know I'm still sensitive, since even
little things can drop me into a depression, but they don't
seem that bad now. This morning, I wore black lipstick on
my upper lip, and left a spot on my lower lip, and went out
in public, and I loved it. It felt different; I feel
different. Not incredibly so, but... I can still feel it.
I think that the little bit of bravery I displayed is a
sign that I can change, for Her, and myself.
I can learn to love myself. Because of how She can love
me, if all my friends can care about me as much as they do,
then I can't always be blind to the fact that there is
someone within me, if not Myself, that I can learn to love.
Thank you, my Tenshi.
I love you.

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