Order In Chaos

Order In Chaos
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2002-08-16 22:27:09 (UTC)

i love us, but i can't do this anymore

watching people around me
nice cars, fancy clothes
i don't see what others see
when they look at me
maybe cause they don't know
what i look like in the morning
or late at night when i lay down to bed
they don't know
that the smile is fake
forced
they don't know what i went through
for this body
they don't see me
like i see me
"you're so cute"
"very pretty"
blah blah blah
i wish i could see myself like they do
friday night, club night
woo-hoo
anyone for some Pina Colada?
no? more for me :)
i can't do this anymore

date last night
couldn't help myself
bf makes me feel lonely
and down
i needed to escape
younger than i usually date
shy
i'm not used to that--
opened doors for me
charming
"beautiful!"
i wish i could see myself like he did
i think i'm allergic to saliva
his kisses were so soft
to change the pace, he'd grab my hair
and pull me deeper in his mouth
great kisser
i hate guys who exchange vast amounts of spit
his touches were so soft
which made the times he got a lil
agressive
the more exciting

blah blah blah
i love us, but i can't do this anymore


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