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2001-07-13 04:18:37 (UTC)

DEBILITATING MALADY

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW.
I’VE BEEN BADLY HIT BY THE LONELINESS BUG.
I’M TOTALLY WRETCHED!
ITS BEEN DAYSSS SINCE I’VE LAST BEEN WITH MY SIGNIFICANT
OTHER.
I THINK THIS IS THE LONGEST TIME WE’VE BEEN AWAY FROM EACH
OTHER BY FAR.

I’VE STAKED MY HEART WITH THIS MAN FOR A YEAR AND EIGHT
MONTHS NOW.
HE WASN’T MY DREAM GUY.
SURE, I THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE.
BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END OF IT.
I WAS TOTALLY CAUGHT OFF GUARD WHEN I FOUND OUT HE LIKED ME.
IT HAPPENED AT THE TIME WHEN I WAS STILL INTO THIS OTHER
GUY.
I KNEW THEN THAT THE OTHER GUY WAS JUST PLAYING WITH ME.
HE NEVER PROMISED ME ANYTHING THOUGH.
AND I NEVER EXPECTED ANYTHING IN RETURN.
BUT I STILL COULD NOT STOP MYSELF FROM HOPING.
THEN YOU GET TO THE POINT WHEN YOU FINALLY OPEN YOUR EYES
TO REALITY.
WHY WASTE YOUR FEELINGS ON SOMEONE WHO’S NEVER GOING TO
GIVE IT BACK THE SAME WAY YOU WANT HIM TO.
TO MAKE THE LONG STORY SHORT…
I CHOSE TO BE WITH THE GUY WHO CHERISHED ME FOR WHAT I’M
WORTH,
AND FOR ALL MY FAULTS.
HE HAS BEEN MY HAPPINESS EVER SINCE.
I NEVER THOUGHT I’D MEET SOMEONE
WHO WOULD REALLY BE AS DEVOTED TO ME AS HE IS.
HE’S NOT PERFECT, HE HAS HIS LOW POINTS.
BUT YOU LEARN TO TAKE IT ALL IN STRIDE.
THERE’S NO USE FOCUSING ON TRIVIAL POINTS,
YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.

NOW BACK TO THE MAIN STORY OF THIS ENTRY…
I JUST MISS HIM SO DAMN MUCH!
ITS ONLY BEEN 4 DAYS…BUT IT FEELS LIKE ITS BEEN WEEKS.
HE’S BEEN IN MY THOUGHTS EVERY WAKING MOMENT.
AND I WAS THINKING OF BREAKING UP WITH HIM?
YEAH RIGHT!
LOVING SOMEONE CAN BRING SO MUCH MISERY SOMETIMES…
DAMN HIM!
I REALLY JUST NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM FOR A MINUTE.
[ME COUNTING]
AAACK! THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG!


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