Zippy

Sleeping with the lights on
2002-08-16 02:43:14 (UTC)

Fuck the bullshit!!

I don't think it's really that fair that I have to be pushed
and shoved around like a ragdoll. Fuck that. I can't take
that bullshit anymore. It fuckin sucks. I mean, what are
they going to do after I move out of this house? They cannot
probe me with questions and answers. Maybe I'm starting to
realize how fucking terrible my life is...oh no..I think I
feel like just fuck everything right now. I cannot wait
until I'm fucking out of here, coz..ya know what..this town
has done nothing for me except for run me to the ground. I'm
fuckin tired of this bullshit. BULLSHIT.
I dont' have any time for myself anymore. I really really
don't. And fuck rehab because all it does is make me want to
use more. All I'm doing right now is fucking living a fake
ass lie that I don't want to live. I don't want to stay
clean, you know? I mean, what else do I have to do? I'm not
going to pretend anymore that I can escape reality because I
can't. But FUCK REALITY. It doesn't do shit for me. But, I
don't do shit for me either. I just want to be 17..I'm only
fuckin 17 I don't need this rehab bullshit right now. I just
want to go out and have fun and fuck it if I die then I'm
meant to die but I don't want to die. That's fucked up. I
only have Dave to look forward to because he's my hope. He's
my love. My one true love.
I know i have pete right now, but I just can't seem to
please him. Although I am falling for him hardcore his love
seems fake. Any love from any male seems fake compaired to
the everlasting love of Dave. lol..it sounds like I'm making
out to be some kind of God, but he is just perfect to me.
And we are perfect together. And maybe..that's all I need.