2002-08-15 13:58:25 (UTC)


i haven't written for a while, and yet i feel theres some
stuff to write about. but its summer anyway, so not a lot
of shit happening. its 6:50 am, thursday morning.
debating if i should go back to bed to rest up for karate,
or stick it through and manage through karate. its
sparring night, but also promotion day, so there will be a
lot of people, so there won't be much attention laid on
me. if i go to sleep now, ill get up really late, like 5
or 6. o well. theres nothing to do. its not like
boredom, it seems more serious than that. like a rut. a
really intense rut of nothing. o well. i have a lot of
unseen dvd's i should see, but movies make me tired. im
hungry, im not sure if eating will make me tired or awake.
probably sleepier. anyway.
someone called cyberbaby8734 or some other numbers IMed me
on AIM. talked about being in love with me from a chat
room. wanted to meet and shit. so of course i knew she
either had the wrong person, insane, sex predator, or
mercury. she didn't have the wrong person. she sounded a
little off, but probably not insane. now im guessing she
was a predator, cause right off the bat she wanted to
meet. i know maybe a few months or years from now ill be
kicking myself for not getting the real sn of her, but i
have legitamite reasons for proving that she wasn't
mercury. first, her screen name, thats a sleazy ignorant
name, but she said that that was what she was, so upon
looking at it again, she did have a point. a weak point,
but a point nonetheless. then, there was the lack of
support for her reasons of liking me. very little. plus
she only wanted to meet. anyway, it was crap. maybe i
shoulda met him/her, just to beat the shit out of someone
who deserved it, to get some aggression out. i need to get
in a fight. win, lose, i dunno. but she's long gone, only
got 2 conversations outta her, now if she was mercury, she
woulda been a lot more persistant. so, ive been having
these fuckin flashbacks of my cat. she ran off, she
occasionally does and comes back after maybe a month at
most. i never really cared. then i didn't see her for a
long time, and i dunno how long its been, but theres a 99%
chance she's dead. but i got no closure, so whenever i
dream, i see her. and when i hallucinate in the kitchen, i
see her outside. ive been hallucinating a lot more lately,
not seriously, but just my periphireal vision has been
getting wacky, i guess you could say. i don't really want
to write anymore.