camicazy

Meshed Up
2002-08-15 13:10:14 (UTC)

ideology

few have been able to hold on to their ideals as they
continue to walk along the road that people call life. some
people call idealism foolishness because to be idealistic
is far from being realistic or pragmatic. idealism is the
state of achieving a utopia where everyone lives and gets
an equal share in needs, life, love and happiness.

many people have died for their ideals. rizal died for his,
joan of arc died for hers.

---

plat, the woman who sold her soul to the cause, came home
to her husband tengga after not seeing him for four years
with an injured leg. they embraced. and tengga cried for
all the nights that he missed her.

the wound on her thigh was wrapped with a torn green shirt
soaked with dried blood. plat was placed in a car to be
driven back home and hopefully to see dr. alvarez. on the
way up their compound, a car blocked their way and it was
with her last strength that she opened the door and
sprinted out limping. to the men who drew their guns,
tengga shouted, 'don't shoot! she's wounded! she cannot
run!'

flashes of fire came and bullets winked along the ground.
plat crumpled and even when she was already dead, they
continued to fire at her.

---

sometimes it feels wrong to have more than others. is it
because i am too naive which is why i feel this way?

i know exactly the way plat felt when she was still in
university when she would disappear for months and come
back with her friends dead because of the cause. i know the
way her heart broke when she went to the poor and talked to
the kids and the fathers.

i saw them with my own eyes. i saw moms with kids,
crouching underneath rotting wood with the floor wet and
the stench-filled air.

i saw the way a child's eyes lit up when i handed her a bag
filled with food. i saw the way she followed behind me and
led me through the walkways and pointed the way out of the
area that was a maze by itself.

i have never experienced living each day at a time,
worrying about where and how i could get my next meal, and
wondering if i will be able to find a comfortable place to
sleep on. yet...i know how difficult and painful it can be.

though i am naive...i wish i can make a difference and help
those who truly need it.

---

'those who give light must endure burning.'

jeferlito menguin