watered down fairy tales and lemon juice
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2002-08-15 05:04:02 (UTC)


What makes a person beautiful? I ponder this because
there are, it would seem, multiple kinds of beauty. There
are people I have known who at first glance I thought "Wow.
He/she is gorgeous." It can be reflected in style, flair,
bright eyes, nice hair... And then there are those who may
be a little heavy. They may wear too much makeup, or not
enough. There is something about them that makes them
possibly unattractive. But they speak. And they laugh. And
the next thing you know you are exchanging phone numbers
and having coffee together every Tuesday at Eau d'Latte.
Enter Dan. He's funny. He's honest. We laugh and we
talk, and he tells me I'm beautiful. We're friends. And one
day he tells me he'd marry me at the drop of a hat. Well, I
think. I think hard, because my first reaction is to run.
He's not beautiful. He's scruffy, and pale, and needs to
lose some weight. But this is not why I said no. I looked
past to the inside. I looked at the part that made me
laughed, and told me stories, and noticed when I changed my
hair... And in the midst of it I found something I could
not ignore. He had an inner ugliness, that hid behind his
kind heart. Call it bad choices, mistakes, peer-pressure...
He had done some things I would not tolerate. And I told
him no.
When I searched this man's heart and I found these
secret sins, his outward appearance became more noticeable
to me. And now I can see it.
So I ponder. What do people see when they look at me?
My exterior beauty is fairly subdued, but what do they see
after a cup of coffee and a round of cards? Do they see
I wonder which form of beauty is more powerful... And I
wonder if I have either...

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