jetstorm

big red room
2002-08-15 00:11:31 (UTC)

fishing

today i went fishing with my dad my sister and my grandpa
but before i left gerry asked if i would want to do stuff
with him if he came over. i jsut told him i had to go which
was true. i should've told him yes and to ocme over then
him showing up and i'm not here lol that'd be funny but
mean. u kjnow wut i realized bout him that i dont love him
i love the old him the one who flirted with me nonstop the
one who loved me. god i miss it soooooo much but i know hes
lost and this guy name gerry replaced him and the sad part
is that i think its cuz of me :( but u know wut that would
be selfish so i wont blame myself for somthing i might have
nothing to do with.u know wut i'm gonna start doing? i'm
gonna stop caring wut ppl think of me i mean jess is right
it only makes me depressed. and i try too hard for things i
need to relax or chill with the shrill as megan says but
its hard cinsidering i've grown up trying to be as ppl want
me to be. hmmmmm maybe thats why but o well anyway fishing
was fun i caught 2 small mouth bass and a bunch of sunnies.
JessR actually got a b/f! omg i'm soo happpy for her but
its soo weird cuz latly its hard to see her with jsut one
guy and she hasnt had a b/f for like a year! o well shes
happy i guess but mainly shes confused bout the whole
situation. i wrote this peom and i really like it. its not
one of my best but it actually makes sense

Once more i lay
not able to sleep
wanting to cry
but i wont allow myself to weap

i'm waiting for answers
waiting to be relieved
the feeling was strong
i was in love i believed

but how that be true
when your name i fear
how can i love someone
who makes me want to run
everytime he's near

no more i will try to bring u back
love for u
is something i like

but i dont lack blood
or glass or kknives
so i look to you
hoping u'll keep me alive*

no more i'll wait
for you to speak
no more i'll sit here
wanting to weap

as i look at you
all i can do i sigh
cuz i dont see the same feeling
i once saw in you eye

blood is our friends
our family and love
without them
we're as dead as a cooked dove

no another night
will i sit here and moap
i'll have to get though
i'll just have to learn how to cope

*this is where one peom ended and another one started

these poems just kinda tell how i feel about wuts all going
on in my life right now as u can see its all aobut one
thing atually its a realization but w/e i'm outa here




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