Toukata21

Ouida-vay
2001-01-13 04:06:06 (UTC)

Jeez...my life is such a soap..

Jeez...my life is such a soap opera I swear. K, theres the
thing with Ryan. He just kinda dissapeared yesterday from
AOL...he was no longer a known memeber. So Im freaking out
so I ask Shuana about it. Eventually he calls me so I kno
hes ok thank God...I was so scared I had lost him. Hes
getting rid of AOL and getting Earthlink but Shuana is
realy mad at him and hurt yada yada yada and she sez she
cant trust him and shes hurt...and Im thinkin...why are you
so pissed? Hes gonna be back you dumbass!! Grr...she makes
me mad. I think he deserves so much better. She gets pissed
at him for the littlest thing. I cant beleive Im trying to
save this relationship. I mean...I like him and he likes me
and Im in the perfect posistion to break them up...but do
I? No. I try and get her to stay with him. Am I too nice?
No I just care about him and dont want him to get hurt. He
hasnt called me yet today. I wish he would I dont feel good
and he can make me feel better. Oh goodness...and then
carl. Jeez. I was finally moving on and accepting the fact
that hes outta my life. Then today as I was getting off the
bus he stops me in the aisle and gives me a hug. And
without thinking I jus turn to face him and say God I miss
you....and he pulls me agaisnt him and jus squeezes me and
was like...well maybe I'll go over sometime.....I have
nothing at all agaisnt Becky its jus...well, I miss him. A
lot. Its really weird not having him a main part of my life
anymore. He has been for over a year and then for a while
there he was more than a friend...and speaking of
friends...Im confused. Heather thinks Jason used to like me
and Im jus kinda like...k...and I know all Im talking about
right now is soooo stupid and boring but it really does
confuse me. Guys are odd. And I cant exactly think
straight...I feel so sick. I dont even kno how Im still
sitting here. I dunno...Im gonna go now. Hopefully Ryan
will call. Till later......




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