2001-07-12 11:11:13 (UTC)

Death wish

Hey dude,

it's you talking. You know who, your so called self.
Remember how you said you were inspired? remember that? Oh
come on who do you think you were kidding? I don't think
you even fooled Reeses. Too bad though. Had she believed
me, she would FINALLY stop trying to solve my unsolvable
problems. 6She doesn't realize it but my life sucks and
neither she nor I can do crap about it.
So today instead of being inspired,(yuck)
I have a death wish.
Please, I beg you,
shoot me!!!
And put me out of my freaking misery for good.
What's the point of having a life,
if you can't enjoy it?
I can go on forever, (seriously)
stating fragments of my life which I regret,
could have been better,
or that I just wish they never happened.
That wouldn't help.
Life's a depressing bitch.

It's 6:00 in the morning,
I only slept 3 hours today.
Still can't go back to sleep,
There are no good movies to watch
And there is nothing good to do to waste some time before I
I never wanna go to sleep,
Cause I have nothing to look forward to when I wake.
Nor do I have any future goals that don't involve failiure.
I'm not good in anything,
And I never will be.

Saw the wedding planner last night.
Not only was it a nice ending to a predictable movie,
It was really depressing.
Why do people pretend they are in some state of mind called
What is it?
Can anyone tell me?
Whatever it is,
I don't care.
As long as I know I won't go through it.
Not only am I gunning down romance,
I'm also gunning down friendship,
and hope, belief, motivation, ambition,
and all that other crap.
Oh yeah, and also...
my life.

Supposobaly, (so sais my horoscope)
I should meet mr.perfect.
As if he were right under my nose.
I have 2 words to say to all the psychics out there...
For all you dreamers, and ambitious people,
take my advice,
Don't try to be something great.
The higher you aim to take that little space rocket of
dreams and hopes,
the faster you will hit the ground when you realize that,
your rocket, is held together by nothing special.
Just dreams and hopes.
Once you doubt yourself, or remember you can't fly,
that glue falls apart and you crash and burn.
And you realize,
You Are Alone.
You always were.