Life as I know it.
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2001-07-12 05:05:57 (UTC)

i need to grow up

I unblocked matt, i figure he doesnt want to talk to me
anyway, and certainly if he did he doesnt now, so im trying
to be mature, and eventho everytime i see his happy little
aol buddy list name show up it will be a constant reminder
of him, im being an adult. TRYING TO BE....anyway. REALLY
TRYING. I mean okay there is going to be a point sometime
in the near or distant future when I am going to want to
talk to him, maybe, who knows...but if i unblock him now
(specially now that he knows cause i honestly didnt want
him to know) maybe when the time comes and he wouldnt mind
talking to me it will be nice. So this sucks, but in the
end it might be worth it. I just hope when he realizes i
unblock him that i dont want fighting anymore. I give up.
I only blocked him so i wouldnt see him online and be
jealous and whiny and insecure on why he wont even say hi,
not cause i wanted to stop talking to him, cause i do. I
hate him, I love him, I dont want to be with him but at the
same time thats all i want...ya just cant win.

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