Gaelwyn

My life in music
2002-08-14 10:05:01 (UTC)

soulmates - a theory

Music:
shai -if i ever fall in love
tracy bonham - navy bean
chicago -hard to say i am sorry/get away
blessed union of souls - hey leonard (she likes me for me)
orgy - blue monday
the sundays - you're not the only one i know
semisonic - closing time
green day - walking contradiction
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I guess that I have a unique view when it comes to
soulmates. Soulmates are people that connect with you on a
level that different from others. Deeper, truer, somehow.
These are not the people you are meant to be with in a
romantic manner, tho they could be. They are people that
truely affect you. That you click instantly with, and not
always in the same way. I have had three in my life and
treasure them greatly.

First came Kristy. We were 13&14. She was a friend of a
friend. Whatever it was we meshed instantly. We talked
about everything. She really helped me to start a process
of self discovery and change. She was someone that i never
had a bad day with. Someone i wanted to share everything
with. Our friendship ended when she moved away. She went to
live with her dad. We were young and really didn't have a
way of seeing each other. I would love to run into her
someday.

Then Chris. Ahhh, what to say about chris that hasn't been
already said? We met each other thru shell and i fell into
the world of BBSing. He was dark, alternative, and
horizontal. :) He freaked me out. We talked and was
finishing each other's sentences by the end of the night.
He was the last guy i made out with before getting to know
him. (i look back on those days with sooo much embarassment)
He called me up a couple of days later and asked me out. I
said no and freaked out. mainly because i hadn't given him
my number, and it wasn't listed under my last name. We met
up again a month later. I ended up handcuffed to him and
talking all night long again. We talked constantly after
that. It was great. I could say again thing to him. I could
say nothing and be happy. However, emotionally it was
completely fucked up. We were never on the same page. He
liked me liked me. I didn't. I liked him liked him. He
didn't. We spent 2 years supporting each other's bad
emotional habits and fucking each other over. Sigh. We
dated for a month, and lived together after that. I still
care about him, in a weird way, tho cringe even thinking
about him. I won't deny tho that we connected in an amazing
way.

And there's brandt. He is awesome. I didn't like him when i
first met him. He did drugs, was a complete freak, couldn't
hold a conversation for shit, had oral sex with chris, and
had a history. Shell fell for immediately. *shrug* For
awhile i hated him because he went back on his word and
dated shell. She was, in my mind, innocent and way to good
for him.
One night he came over to see my roommates. They had to
leave for something, and since i wasn't ready to go to bed
i started to talk to him. I had become a bit more open
minded and he had started on drugs for ADD. What a
difference it made. We talked and laughed for hours. We
started hanging out all the time. He started perverting me,
tho he denies it. :) He even helped me reconnect with
shell. Brandt is like the best older brother in the world.
He gets me more than anyone else, and while he doesn't
agree with everything i am/stand for, he accepts it. He is
the least judgemental guy i know.

Now i have other friends in my life, and have connections
with other people. Deep connection at that, but these 3
stand out. They people that are never going to stop
mattering to me even if i never speak to any of them again.
I love all of them and am better for having known them.
They fit into pieces of my "soul" that i never knew i had
missed.

Can't wait to met the next one. :)




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