Cute Chaos

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2002-08-13 20:50:23 (UTC)

Wasted Day

Today I sat around the house. I was kind of in one of my
moods. I just wanted to be alone. I cleaned up a little
bit. Other than that I played computer or video games and
watched TV.

Wally worked out with my dad this morning. I gave him the
protein supplement for his birthday. My dad said that he
did not really push himself very hard when he was working
out. I also found out that he is going to forget about the
fact that he loves me. The whole things scares me. I hate
to hurt people feelings. I hate that I can't return that
feeling of love. Wally is a great friend and I hate to do
that. Now with rusty in the picture.... I don't know what
to do. I have Chris who I have to call and do something
with. Also don't for me loves me. Wally who loves. Who is
practically my best friend, whom I hang-out with almost
every day Tony who I still have to find a way to tell him
how I feel. I am not even sure HOW I feel. then Rusty, who
I have always had a crush on. Most people would be like
what is the problem with so many boys. I just can't be a
player like that. I know how it feels to have your emotions
toyed with and don't want to do that. Anyways, Wally... it
scares me that he loves me. I know how much he has been
hurt by girls and I don't want to be one of them. I am just
being me and I crush him. I don't know what to do. I think
I am going to back away a little.

I called Korrie today. We had a pretty good conversation. I
am still a little pissed off about the other night. She
said something that really grabbed my attention though.
When I talk her that I needed to get around she said that
she needed to get off of the phone to because she was
ignoring Jessi. I bet that thought never crossed her mind
when she was talking all night with Mike, while I feel
asleep of boredom! Sometimes that girl... GRRRRRRRRR!

At like 11:00 pm Chad comes over. I was about to shoot him.
He knows better than to come around that late. He was lucky
that my dad was not home. When I answered the door he
blurted out that Rusty wanted to see me because he had
another seizure at the movies and needed me over right
away. I don't know what Rusty's seizures have to do with
me, but sure I'll go over. It turns out that Rusty wanted
to see me but was to scared to come get me himself because
he knows how strict my dad is. We stood outside and talked
for a little while. Looked at the stars and counted planes.
He asked me to a movie tomorrow. I am supposed to go with
Wally but it turns out that he has to help someone move.
Rusty wants to go see MIB II tomorrow, but who knows. I
have a date! SWEET! The night ended with another hug and
the great smell of Rusty! I think it is so funny, how when
you like someone all of your senses are heightened. You
notice the smallest thing like the cute freckle under their
eye to the way the whisper good night in your ear.