Jess's Journal
Ad 2:
2002-08-13 18:49:35 (UTC)

thunderstorms...come to me

yeah so another day..i'm a little exhausted..part of me
wants that terrible thunder storm we're supposed to have so
i don't have to go to clinicals..but part of me doesn't want
it cuz i'd be scared out of my mind..i'm afraid of
thunderstorms.. and a part of me just wants to get clinicals
over with but i'm scared out of my mind. i have a fear of
failing too. i have way too much pressure on me to succeed.
i really have to push myself and to prove myself. cuz
nothing seems like it's ever good enough..that's what i get
for being born the second and last child. always gotta live
up to the older child and then also prove ur worth..by not
making the same mistakes and making the rents proud. it just
tears me apart..really exhausting..seriously... i hate
it..yeah i'm really talkative today...going off on
tangents..can't help it..it's just..i'm feeling good..then
i'm not..it's all weird..and NO i'm not pmsing. way past
that. ha. i wish i could talk to someone but he's usually on
when i'm not and it sucks..cuz i really need him right now.
ohhhhh i wish i could go on long drives and had my own
car..i know where i would be right now...basically
heaven..my idea of heaven anyways...