GetItAllOut

Bitch Session
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2001-07-12 00:07:14 (UTC)

Overindulgence in Self-Indulgence?

OK, so, this may not be a very "cool" thing to write about
but I gotta do it and hope to get some feedback on it.

We have this issue about masturbation. It's always kinda
bothered me a little, usually cause I end up feeling kinda
inadequate when I compare myself to the women in the porn
stuff he looks at to do it. I mean, really! I look
nothing at all like THEM and if that's what really turns
him on and gets him hot.....? But, ya know, I can get past
that and realize that that's my own insecure bullshit and I
just gotta get over that crap.

But I'm to the point NOW where I feel like it's
interfering with our sex life TOGETHER. He gets so pissed
at me when I bring it up or ask him about it but I feel
like if he'd NOT do that so much maybe he'd be a little
more inclined to fool around WITH ME at the end of the
day. He does this while I'm at work and he has a day off.
And it's pretty much EVERY time he's here and I'm not. He
says half the time it's not even out of being horny that he
does it but just cause he's BORED and decided that'd be
something to do. ??? He argues and defends that ALL
men do this, no matter what their sex life consists of,
they do it regardless. But he admits he wouldnt like it
much if I were sitting here doing the same on the days I'm
off and he's at work. He agrees that he wouldnt care much
for ME sitting around getting all turned on looking at men
and getting off without him, perhaps taking away an
opportunity for us to do it together a little later on.
And I say that's part of the difference in it too.....that
I could masturbate during the day and it wouldnt have any
effect at all on my desire for HIM, that I'd still be hot
and horny for him when he got home. That I totally PREFER
our making love together to just getting myself off alone.
But I can tell a difference in HIS drive when he does
this....definitely less inclined to be all hot and bothered
and wanna fool around when I get home!

I honestly dont know what to do anymore with this issue.
We've had a very healthy and satisfying sex life until
fairly recently. We both consider ourselves to be equally
perverted....LOL....in our desires and turn-ons and we both
agreed that 3 times a week, on average, was just great!
Now that we're down to once a week, I'm even MORE resentful
when he chooses to get off alone!!! We DO have some other
things going on....including his taking classes 2 evenings
a week....that has affected the amount of time we have
together. But all the sudden I feel like our sex together
is being replaced by his activity alone. I have been
understanding in his thing that sometimes you just wanna
get off....and not deal with going through all the moves
involved in getting soemone else off or feeling the need to
have to please someone else...I understand that....I ALSO
believe strongly in the "quickie" as a good solution to
that one! But I gotta find some resolve on this one....I
feel this is gonna become very destructive between us if
left alone. I dont wanna find ourselves in a situation
where we're just into doing our own thing all the
time....and I certainly dont want to play the ti-for-tat
game either...though this is the one place, I admit, that
I've done that. SUCKS!

Someone please advise or give me some feedback on this
one!!!!!


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