Angel

DayDream Believer
2002-08-13 11:41:05 (UTC)

Its all right to be all right

I guess...
I have been thinking, about me, my relationship with Tommy
and why I cant be completly happy.
When I think back, there are momnets when I have been
thinking oh this is grest, like my 17th birthday, the road
trip me T- Mark and two other guys had last summer, or the
morning I wake up early from a message from Chris and
started to type sms with Chris and S*, lying in a dubble
bed with my Goodson and little princess sleeping next to
me, that was great!

Im over S*, he`s not whats holding me back, we had a great
time, we never got to have our chance but now its to late
and I dont want to change it!
There is no regets, I love him, a pice of me belongs to
him, and if its true what Jewel says, that we are meant to
be (you where ment for me) well, thats not meant to happend
now. Maybe I`ll contact him later, Im not sad that we
are`nt in touch now, cause I know that one night, when I
dont expect it he`ll call me, we gonna talk and everything
is gonna be like before, I know him by hart now.
But a realationship with him now, or one day, oh no!!
But I wish him the best, he deserves it!!

So maybe my problem deep inside id Seline?
When she died everyone told me that it would get better and
I would be all right, but I didnt want to be all right. I
wanted to feel this way, cry every night and let it hurt so
bad.
Cuse if I feelt better that would mean that I got over it
and I didnt wanted to get over her or forget her.
I dont cry everynight anymore, i bearly cry at all, even
though I feel so sad, I cant cry, the tears wont come.

When Im with Tommy everything feels so great, all most all
the time!
But when Im alone Im starting to doubt the whole thing.
Maybe its the whole though of beeing in a relationship
thats scears me, its just not me.
But I want him and if he had someone else I wold be
extremly jalus.
I love waking up with his armes around me, I live for the
times he says that he loves me and all I think of is what
good I can do for him.

So maybe I should just learn to relax and that to be all
right some times is all right.
I dont have to feel sad and cry all the time, its been four
years since Selina died. To hear pepole who have lost some
of their loved one, say that life keeps going on without
the is the worst thing I hear.
Ans I swor I wassnt gonna do the same thing, thats waht Im
so scared of, leting go of her.
But I have to go on with my life, cant stay still til the
end of days can I?

Love
Angel





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