Lizzie's Life in a Nutshell
2001-07-11 19:57:36 (UTC)

Depression, Bulemia and Diabetes

For the longest time I thought I had the perfect family,
the perfect life, up until the middle/end of my 8th grade

I was sitting in class and all I wanted was something to
drink. Every like 5 mins i ran out to the drinking fountain
during language arts 8-9 period. Tim and Chris always made
fun of me cuz i said i thought i was just dehydrated. But
then i didnt come to school one day that week becuase i got
a cold, a bad one. My mom had me stay home for 3 days, then
that friday i thought i was feeling better. I was sitting
out on the porch with my HUGE glass of water talking to my
neighbor, Matt. It was all good. Then that night i couldnt
breathe, i woke up at 1am and my mom took me to the
emergency room. That was where I was diagnosed with
Juvenile Diabetes. I was sent from St. John's to the
Cleveland Clinic, where i spent 5 days in Intensive Care,
and another 3 days in the teens unit. I was miserable in
the intensive care. i was hooked up to millions of
monitors, i had a catheder (spelling?) in me...which is NOT
very comfortable let me say. I wasnt allowed to eat for
like 3 days. All i could have was a little dixie cup of ice
to last me like an hour. Now mind you i had a cold and a
sore throat so that wasnt working out well. I was woken up
every hour at night to turn over and get another shot and
check my vitals. I was miserable. When i finally got out of
the hospital i went from 113lbs to 93lbs. I didnt weigh
much to begin with, so you could imagine i was scrawny by
then. I went home and to school and everything was all
right until i got sick of having it and didnt want to deal
with it anymore. The dieting, the medicine, carrying
everything with me while im gone. It was annoying. SO thats
when i stopped caring. Then that summer was horrible...
I knew my parents were having problems for a while...but
that summer out of 8th grade I heard everything. Yelling,
screaming, fighting, my fathers drinking. Thats when i
learned to cry. The only person who knew these things were
maria and lisa. I cried so much, and i never usually cried,
in public too. Then, my diabetes, the medication (which my
friend said it happened to her friend) took a change on my
body. I gained weight. I never gained weight, i was always
little and thin. I mean not saying im fat...but to a 14
year old...1lb heavier is fat. So, i began exercising a
lot. I had tennis, so i was playing for the team...a game
every day...and practice the days there werent games. Then
from tennis i ran over to marching band. I was wearing my
self out. I soon would igore my diabetes, leading me to
breathing attacks and becoming more lathargic. Then more
yelling and fighting. My life was falling down hill. I
thought i kept getting fatter, and i became bulemic. I
never told anybody until a few months ago. I used to cut
myself, too. But all of it took control of my life. My
thoughts were only on that, my weight, my family, and my
love life which i had ruined too.
My highschool career up until now was..well...shit.
But...i got out of control. My mom finally found out. I am
now seeing a doctor and a therapist after 3 years. and im
feeling the best i ever have. Im under more control. I cant
say im not bulemic or depressed though. I still get
depressed sometimes and i still am bulemic...but not
horribly bad. I raised my gpa this past grading period, and
i am at college right now for a summer course session for
highschool kids. My life is going better, although i wish
my house life would be better. But my mom and i are working
on that. My dad's probation just ended so now he's back on
his drinking spree's in public...even though he did it
WHILE ON probahtion. But...its ok...we're fixing up the
house (mom and i) and then packing up dad's stuff and
sending him out. I think that me going to the doctor helped
a bunch, and leaving home for 5 weeks this summer helped a
bunch, too. I just want people out there who have problems
like this that theres HOPE out there for you. Go get help,
talk to your closest parental unit (teehhee parental unit),
go to a doctor. Just do it before it gets too out of
control. Trust me. Thanks for reading this, whomever does.
It feels good to let people know about this.