Zion

World of all Worlds
2001-07-11 18:21:30 (UTC)

My Tragedy...

Today I start this new diary to tell about my life and how
it has affected me. It's my boyfriends birthday today and I
got him a bracelet. He's at a meeting right now, but he'll
be home shortly. I really miss him every time he's away
from me. It's really wierd, but I guess that's what love
will do to you. I really miss my friends Missa and Josh. I
miss going to the clubs, but I don't miss the way I was. I
have changed my life to better myself and my friends resent
that from me. They want me to be with them and change with
them, but they're not ready. I wish that they would realize
that I have changed, but I'm not running from them. I used
to run from my problems and that's what they think that I'm
doing know, but that's not what I'm doing. Instead, I am
facing my problems head on and fixing things that need to
be done in my life. I don't want to be someone who gets
drunk and goes to the club because they have problems that
they don't want to solve or don't know how. I have learned
from Jeff's meetings that "you can't substitute one for the
other". That has helped me alot because I was that person.
That person who I didn't like or want to be. I made a
choice to make myself a better person, not just for others,
but for me also. I move into my new apt. friday and I face
what I want out of life. I have goals that I want achieve
and I will achieve them. I want to finish school and I
don't want to mess around anymore. I don't want to work at
the Pharm my whole life. I want to be more. I want to stay
away from drinking because that's not who I am. I am so
much more that what people think. And I want to be a better person
for Jeff becuase I know that he deserves more than I give. I miss my
friend missa the most because she knows me and she is confused right
now as to what I'm doing. I haven't been the best friend that
I'm supposed to be to her right now, but I have to do this
alone. She thinks it's because of Jeff that I decided to
change my life and I can honestly tell you that it was. It
was Jeff that I seen and thought to myself, "that's noe
where I want to be when I'm 28". I'm not saying that he's a
failure and he's bad, but I don't want that life for me and
that's exactly where I was heading. I know that temtation
is going to be hard, but I think that I can make it
through. I've been listening to a song lately that has made
me cry every time I hear it because I think of Missa who is
my one true friend and of course nobody's perfect...not
even me...so I dedicate this to you Missa and remember
you'll always be there...

There You'll Be
(Diane Warren)

When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed
To get to have you in my life

When I think back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my
life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be

Well, you showed me how it feels
To have the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my
life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be

Cause I always saw in you my life, my strength
And I want to thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
Always

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my
life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be

There you'll be



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