2002-08-12 22:40:28 (UTC)

Monday, August 12th, 2002 (533pm)

What would we be in a world where the EGO did not exist? I
think we would be more patient and understanding of other.
There would be no broken hearts, no hurt feelings, no
anger. What happened at the cafeteria is something that I
should look into as a test to how much I have matured in
the past year. It was a total defense mechanism for him to
tell me that he wasn't talking to me in the first place.
On my side, it was more of the anger of not getting the
reaction what I was wanting and expecting from Tarek. I am
fighting the anger I have inside that says that my EGO was
hurt. I am glad that I did not respond to what he said,
because then things would just have gotten worse. There is
nothing I should do now... just sit and write write write,
whatever comes to my mind. I realize that as soon as I
stood up and left E's I started making reasons that I
would be able to use to back up the after argument that I
know Tarek and I should have.
If it's not something that will destroy my life... I am
going to let it go. Life it too short to hold a grudge.
Too short to be angry and not enjoy the little it has to
hold for us. That's one thing that I have really
appreciated and led to learn living with Ara.