Venus

I Used to be...Now I don't know
2002-08-12 22:37:57 (UTC)

I Wasn't Gonna Write This...

But I decided I would.
I can now say there are 4 men I've really made love to. It
was pretty much fucking the first couple of times, as
beautiful as it was. But slowly it became more, and this
weekend, I can only describe as love. I cried. Seriously,
it sounds queer, but my heart was just so over-whelmed, I
cried. It was an experience. That sounds queer, too. But
just... looking into his eyes was amazing. He has a
tendancy to talk during sex, which I have picked up because
it is kind of erotic, but the time I cried, we didn't. We
just, we didn't. And it kind of made it better, in some
ways. We made love. I actaully think the expression "make
love" sounds stupid, but that's what we did, and I don't
know how else to describe it. I think he's convinced that
I'm going to end it when I get into college. I know it'll
be hard, but if I could hang onto Mike, the way things
went, I can keep Shea. He's worth it more than I can
describe. It scares me some, but I can't deny how I feel.
And this is it.




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