shamoo

Ramblings of the Epitome
2002-08-12 19:02:44 (UTC)

The underlying meaning of dreams...

My friend was right. "It'll get worse before it gets
better." I thought I was well on the road to Better, but
apparently not. This morning I woke up with a deeply sad
feeling inside me. I missed her so bad and tears started
to well up. She is so beautiful to me, it hurts
sometimes. I haven't the slightest clue why it happened
now. Perhaps it stemmed from my crazy dream. I was being
chased by some rogue invalid with a shotgun around my
yard, while my friends just stood there watching and
laughing. I tried running away, but my legs were all
heavy and not working. I'm sure, that in my case, in the
dream world, the epitome is reduced to a status
of "average." Oh well. Of course dreams don't just end
at just one per night. I was also walking around some
college/university campus with some random girl (that I
believe I probably had some interest toward) when I saw
Jane. Since I haven't spoken to her, I approached her.
She seemed to try and avoid me and didn't seem happy to
see me. That didn't make me feel good. Then I fell off
the balcony I was on and hit the ground hard. I woke up.
The next dream wasn't so bad. I was in some sort of high
school gymnasium where there was a play going on. I sat
down and started to watch. Jane sat next to me and
started talking. She wanted to hang out and she said she
missed me a lot. She even kissed me, but I kinda pushed
her away because I knew it was wrong. I'm not sure what
happened next, but I was awake and it was very late. I
didn't want to have an unproductive day, so I forced
myself to get out of bed. That's when the sadness hit
me. Very strange. I don't say much around my friends
anymore about it.

I really want be with her one on one before I leave. Ya
know...get a few things done, say a few things, etc. That
doesn't leave too much time. Monday (today), she works
until late. Tuesday and Wednesday is her trip to
Wildwood. Thursday I'm free (she probably is too, since
she's done working), and Friday I'm going to Dorney Park.
I will skip out on Dorney Park if she is only free on that
day. Saturday, I'm driving to the airport at about noon.

Wow, since I've told several people that I'm done with the
whole import car scene, I get hammered with messages,
PM's, and IM's asking why and what the hell am I
thinking. Of course I will always be interested, but I'm
not going to play such a big role in the scene. I'll go
to a few car shows, maybe talk about cars with my buddies,
and that's it. I was, to them, someone who would never
get out of the scene. In fact, I was the one who drew
them into the scene. It makes me wonder when they'll
realize how much of a waste it is.

Last night was a blast. In the afternoon, I went to
Kevin's house to help install his rear speakers in his
car. Both of us nearly melted from the heat. I was
thinking how Jane, Steve, and Jessie were doing at the
Warp Tour. They probably turned into a bubbling puddle
of...umm....I dunno. Haha. Later we picked up Amanda and
Nat and had a nice road trip to Cindy's house. I almost
stole her cat on the way out. We went to a great mini-
golf place. I never lose mini-golf! Apparently I lost,
but I still don't believe it. I was tied at second place,
with only 3 points behind Cindy.

On a side note, I believe I lost because of Nate's
presence. Before recent events, I have never lost mini-
golf and that game (usually at fairs) where you shoot
water into a hole and race other people. Every time
Nate's around, I lose. I think it's because the epitome
is slowly losing his abilities. :o(

The course was much better than what we have around here.
Banked corners, water traps, roughs, crazy curves, etc.
After that, we proceeded toward Ruby Tuesdays. We barely
got there in time. Technically the kitched closed
already. We ordered food and about 1 hour later, the
waitress comes and informs us that the cook had thrown
everything out already and was ready to go home. After
cooking everything over again for our table and about
three others, and after waiting about another hour, the
food came. It was great. What made it even greater was
the 32 ounce Blue Lagoon Megarita that I had. They asked
me to just drink it fast, so I did. It hit me like a
freight train right before we had to leave. It was
great.

On the way home, I sat in the backseat with Amanda because
apparently Nat called shotgun like an hour prior. The
rules for Shotgun clearly state....well, nevermind, it's
too late now. Kevin popped in the Backstreet Boys
greatest hits and we started to belt out lyrics like
nobody's business. That was fun. I'm sure the Megarita
contributed to that. I almost fell asleep during the ride
home, but some crazy monster bug started to crawl on my
neck. Thanks Amanda. I hate bugs. Amanda, Kevin, and I
went home while Nat went to the Yellow Rose Diner to meet
up with Lou and Clarissa. Overall, a great evening.

I feel bad for Jane now. She had told me how much she
wanted to go to Wildwood, and now I'm not sure that's even
going to happen. At Tuesday's last night, Nat said that
he probably won't even go since I'm not going and Amanda's
not going. Kevin said that he's working till quite late
so he probably won't even stop by. Then he heard that I
wasn't going, so he said he definitely wasn't going to
stop by. I asked Nat to go anyway to give Jane and
whoever else is going some company, just so she can have a
great time and one last bash before the summer is over.
I'm not sure what's going on...and supposedly, the trip is
tomorrow morning. Less than 24 hours to go and nobody
knows what the plan is.

Rich, Amanda, and I may do something instead. Jet
skiing! Depending on who drives, we might either go to
Long Beach Island or Seaside Heights. LBI has water
skiing, boat rentals, and that thing where you're on a
parachute and they pull you on a boat. Prices are great
too.

The plans for tonight are still up in the air. I loved it
when I always knew what I was going to be doing that
evening. The potential for sitting at home twirling my
thumbs is pretty high nowadays. Some food inside me right
now would hit the spot. Indeed it will.

I wish she would call again....




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