my mixed up world
I thought that this was supposed to feel good. And if you
were really mine I guess it would. I didn't fall in
love 'cause it was the right thing to do. I just went ahead
and fell for you. Oh somewhere down along the line, I guess
that love became a crime. This contradiction makes no
sense, this is punishment. I feel like this is judgement
day, I'll raise my hand stand up and say, "I don't believe
I'm innocent". This punishment. Truth is your heart was
never mine to take. Now I'm stuck in a feeling that I'll
never shake. I pray for it to go, God knows I want it to
stay, but here I am loving you either way.
No John (if you're reading this) I'm not saying
you're punishment. It's punishment that I can't have you.
How many times do I have to say to get away, get gone. Flip
your ship passed another lasses humble dwelling. You got
your game made you shot and you got away with alot but I'm
not turned on. So put away that meat you're selling. 'Cause
I've done what I could for you and I do know what's good
for me but I'm not benefitting instead I'm sitting. Singing
again. How can I deal with this if he won't get with it.
And I gotta hear from him, he won't admit to it. Nothing to
figure out, I gotta get him out. It's time for truth 'cause
I bet he don't give a shit about me.
~Fiona Apple "Get Gone"
Sometimes I just wish I didn't feel this way about
you. I wouldn't be happy but I also wouldn't have to deal
with all this.
Love ridden I've looked at you. With the focus I gave to my
birthday candles. I've wished on the lidden blue flames
under your brow. And baby I wished for you. Nobody sees
when you are lying in your bed and I wanna crawl in with
you but I cry instead. I want your warm but it will only
make me colder when it's over. So I can't tonight baby.
~Fiona Apple "Love Ridden"
I want to be with you, you know what I mean. But
I'm afraid that if I do take it to that step then that will
be it, things will be weird and shit.
I was staring at the sky just looking for a star. To pray
on or wish on, or something like that. I've been having a
sweet fix of a daydream of a boy who's reality I knew was
hopeless to be had. But then the dove of hope began it's
downward slope and I believed for a moment that my chances
were approching to be had but when it came down near so did
a weary tear. I thought it was a bird but it was just a
paper bag. Hunger hurts and I want him so bad oh it kills
but I know I'm a mess that he don't want to clean up. I got
to fold because these hands are just too shakey to hold.
Hunger hurts but starving works when the call's too much to
love. I went crazy again today looking for a strand to
climb, looking for a little hope. Baby said he couldn't
stay wouldn't put his lips to mine a fail to kiss is a fail
~Fiona Apple "Paper Bag"
I am a mess. Me and my moods.