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2001-07-11 05:02:46 (UTC)

more bad news

ok i think no one would want to be in my place. omg u
should of seen all the drama that went on last night he
broke up with me, i went crazy i wanted to die then im all
crying and then my grandma needs the phone so i hung up
with him then like 30min later i go online trying to see if
there was any friend that would calm myslef. but then he
comes up with an instant message " hey" im like what?????
he just yelled and screamed how much he was hurt by me and
blah blah blah then he goes i need to talk to you.. im like
oh great another screaming session then i could tell he
wasent acting normal cuz he is like " i need to tell you
something i never told u b4" " i beg u" "pleeeease" so im
like hmmm he is begging me something is up. so i go dont
bother no more with me im everything u said i was ( cuz he
said soo many things that made me wanna go die) but then i
was still crying and weak and all i wanted to here was his
voice cuz i wasent sure what was coming if that was the
last time i would speak to him then i call him, he answers
with a calm voice. like he is seriouse and how he sounds
when he is acting all sweet, but then he goes, " i just
made the biggest mistake of my life.. im so sorry... i love
you soo much you dont even know." " please take me back" im
like having an attack cuz im crying so much. but then he
goes " i was so selfish and only thinking for myslef. i
never put myself in your shoes im so sorry baby take me
back" im like omg omg omg omg! i did take him back, i love
him so much it hurts... and it hurts cuz we cant be
together, let me tell u what my mom did to me today. ok
were shopping i get a new bathing suite i ask her can i see
him today? "no!" pleeese "no" ok so then were in the car
after a whole day of asking her she goes ok ill leave u
there until 9:30 it was like 8:30 but then she calls him
and said im taking her, then we drive in his drive way im
like finally i get to see my love.. my baby.. my
everything. but anyways she changes her mind and goes u
know what tomorrow ill get u and u will see her she is
going home. im like what??!! he got kinda sad and went
inside we leave she drops me at my dads house and thats it.
im like ok @@##!!!! thanks mom but cuz of u im loosing the
only person i love and care so much about, and i dont care
for me anymore i just want him to be happy with or without
me but i just hope he is there.. hope we get to spend time
together and finally be happy.. now doesnt it suck to be
me?? YES! my life sucks my love life is crazy im in love
with the best guy and i cant spend time alone or with him.
how great oh and too add to this im getting eatin by
mosquitos as i speak or type.. whatever and he is leaving
to ecuador monday for the rest of the summer. that leaves
me all alone and sad and lonely cuz i wont be able to talk
to him or see him. ill miss him soo much and i will wait
till he gets back! well im gonna go pray then to bed. good
night wow its like 1 already damn.. byebyebye