Mind of a Wierdo
2001-07-11 04:51:28 (UTC)

Yea .. uh huh ... so what

So okay my day is near an end. Ahh ..... DAMN! Hahaha. Okay
well as I said before I went to pick up Daria and Chris
from summer school and then I went home. But I did take
Chris to Red Lobster today. You may be thinking Yea
sooo .... who cares. Well if you didnt read the previous
entry it was our sixth month anniversary. Some say big deal
but in a way it is okay. So ummm blah. Haha okay. Well yea.
Then we came back to my house and hung out for awhile and
then I took him home. Yea. So umm here I am once again at
my computer. Okay okay it may seem like I am here too much
but o well. The does not make me a computer freak in any
way. I AM NOT A DAMN COMPUTER FREAK! Whoa! Chill pill for
me haha. Okay well I dont kno what to say but I may have
come across some really terrible scary sad (whatever you
would like to call it) News. I just can't tell you. Why?
Because I am afraid of it. Because I dont have the guts to
put it here. All I have the guts to do is keep it with me.
That is just so sad but I feel I have no choice. You kno
sooner or later I am goin to have to tell Chris but ..... I
dont kno how to and I cant bring myself to do it. It is
really scary. Ooooo .... maybe I shouldn't put it that way.
It scares me more. I was goin to tell him today but I
couldn't bring myself to. I was goin to tell him before he
went home but I couldn't make myself do it. All I could say
when he asked me what was wrong was put a smile on my face
and say nothing. And I am not goin to tell him on the phone
cus I cant do that either. I can tell him in person but I
am really nervous. And I dont want to tell him here cus I
would rather have him hear it from me. I feel like a
coward. Maybe I am. I dont kno. I feel really really really
bad though. And I have to tell him but I can't. That there
is a fifty percent chance. That is it. O well of course
there is more but I can't say it. I just can't. I am
afraid. I can deal with it on my own. Yea I think I might
end up doing that. I have to. But ........... he has to
kno ..............