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Dark Secrets
2002-08-11 12:47:12 (UTC)

Breaking off

" you are a happy person, but u let sorrow get the better
of you. My own philosophy, everyone have the choice to
choose happiness or sorrow. Sorrow is a big disease cos
fear and doubts are one of its big factors. Therefore, one
must tkae things easy...so that he can place doubts and
fear aside..and be happy."

" you put your happiness in a ship instead of your pockets"


" you should see him as One person, and tell yourself the
impact shouldnt be that huge"

" there are so many us. The happy side, sad side, jealous
side..We can think very differently at different situations.
You can be happy, can be revengeful and all that, it just
depends on which " you" u are using. Im always using the "
happy" side. Abt my sad side is most of the time thrown
aside. Only when the sad side is going to explode, then i
release it in diary or pple."

" Today im in the bus with my bf. Then i duno why suddenly
look up into the sky, and it is so beautiful. The sky is
really so blue with mashmallows, so white, and i feel like
light. I mean i have never notice tat beauty before. I
think sometimes we have to cherish wat we have in our
place."

These are the things jane said to me....I think i should
take heed. She is becoming my real close friend. Guess, i
need her alot these days....she is slowly changing my life.
I wanna learn from her...to be more cheery. I need to
change...change for the better..to be more useful, build up
my own character. I need to be strong. --_-- He said.....he
felt like breaking up with me. What can i do? after weeks
of saving up to go there, he is in doubt whether i
should...Anyway im going to pay the deposit for the ticket
tmr...i wont regret no matter what happen, i must tell
myself that..... I cant bear to leave him, he ask me to
leave him alone for days..... i do not noe.......im afraid
when he is back, he will want the break up with me. what
should i do? i depend too much on him...JAne asked me not
to put all my hopes on him.., put it in my own pockets...--
_-- im getting really too tired to think and type...

Everything drain me out....
Do i really love him?
Do i really need him?
i should care more abt myself.....maybe? i really wanna go
hk and be happy and really in love with him.
Am i selfish, thats why im not letting him go?
i wanna hug him, and say that i love him.
u mustnt cry...remember that u have to be like jane, cheer
up!


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