Ode to a psycho!HA!
2002-08-11 04:40:05 (UTC)

Just a bad day

I was riding in the backseat of Mikeys car tonight. I closed
my eyes and let the wind beat against my face, and blow my
hair. It's really long again. I sat there, and let the tears
comedown my face as I reminised about today. The air was
cool, and it felt refreshing to my body. my sister fucking
taped over my good, lutgen warmup tape. 25 excercises melody
and accomp. all gone except three. And to make it worse, It's
two and a half hours of her and her friend playing poker!
FUCKING POKER! then I went to my FOURTH audition for little
mary sunshine. not the 1st or 2nd, 4TH! and I have another
one tomorrow, my 5TH even though I found out today that the
part I want was probably already decided 5 weeks ago. Then I
called Ross for the 1st time in a while to see if he wanted
to go to the movies. He was with people, but he said mabey,
even though mabey means no. And it did mean no, It wasn't a
big deal. I guess it was to be expected. I SIMPLY DON'T HAVE
that disappointed. he's leaving in a few weeks anyway. What
would he want with a little Jewish girl who's lactose
entolerant? That statement is so contradictory to itself it's
not even funny. It was just a bad day. I stopped crying by
the time we got to the movies, and pulled myself together.
Never let em see you cry, right? The movie was good, REALLY
good. I ate lots of candy and now have the urge to vomit, and
rub my face with steel wool. I get online to check my email,
and just as I was thinking my day at least couldn't get any
worse I got a letter from Brian. That isn't a bad thing, it
just caught me off guard. I saw his name and my stomach
dropped through the floor. I've thought about him now and
again, but then I feel sad, and disapointed. He's been gone
about 2 months now. Now that i think about it I believe the
last time I cried wa the last time we saw eachother. we went
walking in the rain, and I..................well I knew I had
to ...........I can't do this. I can't talk abouth this here