good times, good times
2001-07-10 20:08:24 (UTC)

an ode to craig

i don't love you any more
but i know i must have once
because as tyler and i
drove down that country road
i reminiced on all the good times
we had out there
and yes dear i missed it!
do you remember?
do you?
the stars? the old nissan?
do you remember
wart dog's barn? or the frogs?
what about janik's house,
and all that country we lived and loved to?
but all that green soaked into you and it tore our little
world apart and even though your tractor's always gonna be
sexy to me, i'm never gonna ride it again because you were
just to green.

well, i found out i was wrong today.
i do still love you
and i think i always will
if i didn't i wouldn't have cared
but lord did i!
i cred 3 rivers
and 2 oceans when i read it
i felt like you ripped my heart out
and chopped it up with an old rusty kitchen knife
how i cried!
i just wanted you to come
and hold me like you used to
and tell me you didn't believ it
i wanted to scream into the phone
i wish i was brave
because then i could tell you
but i'm not
i'm so scared
so i'll stay in my safe little
fucked up life
and fuck it up even more
just like i always wanted to
and fall asleep--or awake every night
knowing that tyler's not the only one i love
even though he should be
you were jealous
and you didn't trust me
and you wanted more than i had to give
but what would i give?
what wouldn't i give for you to know?
but you never know will you
never know i was wrong
that old 4 wheel drive nissan
(with three pairs of earings lost somewhere in the seat)
is sitting
twisted broken torn and loved
(by me)
kind of looks like you
and me
and us