Amnesia

dude
2002-08-09 21:30:04 (UTC)

A little deal with the devil...

(Me being the devil.)

Well, first things, first. When I quit my job, I wanted to
find a new one. Eventually I realized, I'm still a kid.
It's better that I take advantage of the ending of my
innosence, and the beauty of not worrying about bills/
asking the parents for money. I always felt wrong about
asking such things. I never wanted to ask people for
favors, money or anything. But once I thought about it, and
if I don't take advantage of this now, I'm never gonna do
such things. So I started asking for cash, the car and
teenage stuff like that. It was okay, and I'm not too
ashamed about asking for such things now. Though I still
prefer to support myself.

The times for such things is over. It's time for me to find
a job and start saving. I figured I need money for college.
I also figured that I need to be making quite alot to be
able to stay on top of payments, school, apartment, and
fun. In order to maintain the balance, I reall good job
will have to do. And only a real good job. I need
experiance, and I don't want to get hired for a year or a
half, and then switch jobs again if that is gonnna be
possible later on. So I want to get a good paying job whose
skill is excesible in more then one place. Like a chain
store or public work. (Starbucks or the library in
particular.) Hopefully I'll get such a job soon and stop
living out of my parents pockets 1/2 way already. I'm
getting ready for the hardships of the real world this way.
Once senior year starts, there will be more stress added on
through school and homework. Last time I had a job I
couldn't go out cause it was too late, and I was too young.
This way my life got imbalanced. I don't want it to happen
again. So since there will be even more stuff to take care
of in college. Responcibility wise, such as bills, then I
should be able to know stuff about that. I don't like to
take care of business, but I think it's better if I jump
into responcibility with someone's aid by my side it will
be better. Plus it will bring me into situations I might
not even think of at first. This is all prabobly confussing
to you, cause hell, it's very confussing to me. So here's
my point and the actual deal:

I asked my mom to help me help her and myself with one
condition. I take over, instead of Arthur and Daniel going
to take care of business maters, translate, and make all
the phone calls. This way I'll be prepared with
terminology, businesses, how things work, and I won't be so
easily taken advantage of, hopefully.
My condition: Since if I do take on such responcibility I
will be much more imbalanced. I need some fun in my life.
So I wanted her to extend my curfew, and let me get dibbs
on the car. (I mean I'll understand if the guys will need
it, but other then that, I need my fun, and I wanna cut
loose.)

She accepted. First I want about a week or so though, to
cut back from summer school and have some fun. There's a
party tomorrow, so I'm gonna go with Karoline and her
boyfriend. The week after I might go with Kathy. She's not
as much fun, but I can't drag Karoline there every weekend.
She's got other friends and I don't wanna become dependent
of her. I do hang with her alot cause she's gonna be gone
pretty soon.

I feel so distoted right now. My thoguhts are so unclear
and I was crying in the morning. This whole day has gone to
hell. Yesterday (what I wrote about just now) was okay
though. Today is a whole different story so I'm gonna write
it under a different journal entry. Bye for now. I'll be
right back...

-Amnesia