Aradia Goblin Queen

Aradia's Head
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2002-08-09 18:11:21 (UTC)

these precious illusions

another appropriate song...

anyhow, its been a few days and things haven't improved on
the "fighting front". I'm attempting to pull my usual stunt
(cutting the person off before i get too hurt). and well,
at first tim wasnt having it, now it's looking like he just
doesnt care. If I had another easy answer I'd take it, but
the only uncomplicated way outta this pickle is to back off
completely and cut my looses while i can.

you see, maybe i should tell you the story before we all
get confused.

i met up with tim a year and a half ago after a break up
(of sorts) with another tard. i tried my damnedest not to have
a crush on this boi and yet there i was, all happy and
confused about my new friend and my new feelings for him.
so after a few months, i decided to have a few drinks (btw
people, drinking and honesty DO NOT mix!)((((AUTHORS NOTE: APPARENTLY
THEY DO cuz 6 mths later we fixed our problems over drinks. so i
correct myself) and i blurted everything out...thats where alllllll
the tension began.
things werent the same after that. well, a month or two
later we were drinking (a common occurence last year) at
another cuzins house of mine. and this time he blurted
somethings out...needless to say this time words were
passed back and forth needlessly (as they usually are) and
we didnt speak for 3 mths. so fast forward to say oct. I
was pretty much dealing with my feelings for this person
and outta know where the crush monster stuck his ugly
little green head out and decided to play with my emotions
again. so as we hung out more, i tried to keep the
friendship and my crush feelings separate..which was hard
becuz the more i hung out with him, the more i grew
attached. (yea stupid me i know).

so now its another 6 months later and i think ive fallen in
love with this person and well, he ended up dating this
chic i use to work with.

so now, this is where ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL the confusion takes

you see, i originally intended to set her up with tims cuz
neither were interested.
but she liked tim.
unfortunately for me.
you see, the sticky part of the story is, two days before
they actually started dating, i told her the entire saga
and even that i thought i had fallen in love with this best worst enemy.
and not that he was on hold for anything, im completely
aware i cant claim anyone, but it still hurt that she d
just up and date him like that. and now she wonders why i
dont wanna hang out with her.

secondly, i feel like ive become a sorta "second class
friend" to tim, for the first few weeks of their dating
escapades he didnt call once..couldnt hang out unless his
plans fell thro with her..just petty things. yea, i prolly
made it all out to be more then wot it was but like i said,
*had* i been able to keept he distinctions between
friendship and crush-dom apart none of this prolly wouldnt
have happened.

so now im back at the present....trying to decide whether
or not i should take the cop-out and just cut him outta my

yea i know i could do other things: tell him how i really
feel, just let things cont on the path they are and hope
they get better, suck it up and hang out with the hoe and
her retard...

but those will all prolly hurt alot more then just giving
this friendship the axe.

oh well, if anyone has any idears...please share, cuz im at
a loss