lilith.

dedoubledidentifiedschizophrenia~
2001-07-10 13:57:01 (UTC)

incomplete w/o my baby... god it hurts

its hit me hard dis time. it used to get me awake with
sweats and clammy hands but dis time it hit me real.
reality check : parents found out.
first reaction : oh my god.
the aching.. it hurts... my baby's parents found out abt
us. so what u may ask.. we're both girls. dats what. damnit
and dat part is half the worst. i dont noe what happen...
but dat saturday morning, when we both were in bed.. when i
was in my baby arms, i sensed something bad.. i didnt voice
it out though.. then coz it seemed so perfect when in
reality it isnt.. i held so tight as if i couldnt bear to
let go...
i dont noe how em parents found out but the mom's hitting
the roof and at her as well.. mom's coming to get my baby
out of supervised studying... and basically out of school
as a whole.. as cliche as this would sound and maybe even
not at de right time, im reminded of when Romeo was
banished. Lord, im goin please please dont let dat happen..
if i cant talk to my baby its death.. but at least make it
a lest painful one by letting me see her to cure bits of
the pain. god i noe i sound self centred andeverything
damnit. im thinking of myself when my baby is hurting even
more. ahh fark. i wanna be there so much... more than
ever.. it simply hurts.. i wanna take the pain for my
baby.. she doesnt deserve to be in dis pain and hurt, being
the angel my baby is.. why cant people see dat? why do we
have to be bound by gender issues.. why? would they haf
preferred if we were neckin boys instead? people are so
blinded by conservative issues... they dont see whats real
love damnit. and then not only that, they judge people in
love.. dats not right. dats fucking not right. god, why
cant my baby and i run away right now. well, simply we
cant. but god i wish i could damnit. my heart feels ripped
and it really feels so. shredded. and i wonder ow t is for
my baby.. there at home w/ people who judge her so damn
bad.. please, send an angel to guard a fellow angel damnit.
love prove urself.
-xing²

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