female Christian Internet-addict

Codename: Hannah
2001-07-10 11:43:18 (UTC)

Paul

That's my boyfriend's nickname, I love it!
It think that's such a cool name, goodness knows why.
I'm really in love with him, he's such a sweetheart, but
there are so many things agains us :-(
Like, of course, my mom thinks he's immature because he's a
punk and has a rat and wants to be an actor, and they keep
on telling me he can't be my dream man and we're not on the
same level and all that jazz...
Also, I've been using the car sooo freakin much the last
couple weeks AND I've been lending him a lot of money...
He'll get paid on Friday so it's not that big of a deal,
but for my parents, it is, of course...
And the car is my problem cuz I'll have to start paying AND
takin gas money... I suggested that before but my parents
were like ""don't worry about it", they apparently thought
I wouldn't be driving a lot.
Well, I knew I was going to, so that'S not my fault, is it?

Then, his friends are kind of gothic, one is a satanist and
I'm the lil innocent Christian girl that was aiming for
purity and now doesn't know what to believe anymore... It's
scary...
But he'S been bringing me together with so many interesting
people, musicians and stuff and I so want to make music.
I'm gonna be discovered soon and be successful and make
loads of money and whatever psycho is reading this now, you
can then say you "knew" me.

Yeah, we'll be together and we'll be famous and popular and
successful!
See, that'S the problem, I keep on telling myself that, but
I'm scared. I haven't made any real bad experiences, but
I'm soo mistrusting! I'm serious, I always kindof expect
him to go round telling how far we've gone (even tho we
haven't really) and, well, I don't know.
This is too good to be true. Goodlooking, sweet,
intelligent boys don't fall in love with me! argh!

Well, I'ma go now, I'll meet up with him ín a few hours and
go to a theatre project ( he wants to start one, too and be
the director, he's so full of dreams and encourages me to
live mine, it'S amazing!)

Love,
Hannah




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