moderatly excessive
2002-08-09 00:33:27 (UTC)


hmmmmmmm, what a great way to title a diary entry. What
is next? Hope? Faith? charity? I hope I never become
that predictable. If I do shoot me. But I digress. Love
is in our music, television, movies, books, papers, and
consumes most of our lives in some way or another. But
why is it when you have it in so many ways you still need
more and more. Aren't relationships mostly self-
centered? With the rare exceptions. People want someone
who enhances them, sort of like an accessory for the
soul. We want to be made feel better about ourselves, so
we turn to someone who is "supposed to" love us for all of
our faults. But yet again, does this even exist? Far
less then you would think. People aren't perfect, and
they never have been, but why have relationships become so
much harder to maintain over the years? Our goal hasn't
changed, most still want to find love, but one thing is
different now. Things get old a lot faster. We upgrade
our computers, buy new cars, we must have that new cell
phone, and where would we be without the latest clothing
trend? So why should we think any differently about our
relationships. It is hard to be satisfied when the top is
never established, because we all want to be the best.
And when we decide to be pleased with what we have, we
will no longer have the "top of the line"
unreleased "heart companion" to show off to our friends.
I am all for happiness as a couple, I even embrace it.
But why is it our endless search for love has become a
job. Believe me if it were a job I would have never
applied. It is sort of dead end anyway. There is no pay,
one promotion (marriage) and on top of it all no health
benefits and your chances of getting hired are slim to
none. That is why most of us are in the unemployment line
waiting for the chance of an opening. Can you learn to
love? I think so, but who wants to put in all that time
and effort? Wouldn't it be nice if we could just go
shopping for a mate, or go online and punch in exactly
what we wanted and it was mailed to us. It sounds great,
but I bet you most of us would be unhappy with what we
ended up with, because it meant we would have to settle,
and next week what if another option comes out? You can't
upgrade people and an end to the process of improvement is
no where in site. A boyfriend or girlfriend shouldn't be
your answer to loneliness or unhappiness. True happiness
doesn't depend on anyone else, it depends on you. Other
wise it is just fleeting amusement, like a comedy for the
soul that lasts as long as we can stand what we are
looking at. And then when we can't we just get up and
leave the theater. At least you have some great previews
to look forward to. And on occasion the sequel, which is
never as good as the first one. But we still go, in hopes
of seeing something that will change our lives forever, or
at least a few years. Maybe 1 human year should be 7
relationship years. We always seem to outlast them. I
know what it is like when you meet someone and you just
have this feeling of completeness. Is love at random? I
wonder if love at first sight and finding your soul mate,
should be compared to Russian roulette? Isn't it after
all a game of chance that we all want to win? Otherwise we
know the consequences, a life alone. Or so you think. I
think this Russian roulette game is played with blanks.
So it might just scare us, but in the end no harm is done
and there will always be another gamble ahead.