I'm a girl, not a band!!!
2002-08-08 22:07:06 (UTC)

More on the marriage topic

My parents were 22 when they got married. I am 22 now, and
can't imagine being married. My mom went to Catholic
school her whole life, from elementary school all the way
through college. She has never had a teach who wasn't a
nun. Scary, huh?

My father had one year of college, and then ended up
running boats around the world. By running, I mean he was
hired by boat owners to take their boat to whatever
destination they desired. Mostly it was from the Northeast
to Central America.

One day, in upstate NY, my father walked into a bar. He is
a big guy, 6'5" or so, and he was very very very tan and
his hair was bleached blonde by the sun. As he walked into
the bar, the eyes of just about every girl there lit up.
My mother, on the other hand, thought he was a cocky
bastard, and didn't want anything to do with him. The
friends my mom were with got trashed that night, and my
mom wanted to go back to her apartment. My dad volunteered
to drive her. It was the only way to get back that moment,
so she agreed. He got her number because it was late, she
was tired, and figured that if he called it, she could
tell him off later.

My father is a persistant man. On their first
official "date", there was some kind of barbecue thing
going on at my grandparent's house. My father introduced
his date to my grandfather, and my grandfather loved her.
He took her around and introduced her to EVERYBODY THERE
as his FUTURE DAUGHTER IN-LAW. Good thing my mom isn't
easily rattled.

I asked my mom once how my father proposed to her. She
said that there were at a restaurant, and he asked her if
she had any plans for the immediate future. She replied
no, and he said "Well, if we get married, we could have a
kickass party". Why she agreed to a proposal like that is
beyond me, but they did.

The party was kickass, except for the fact that my father
got food poisioning that night. But, it was ok because
they went on separate honeymoons. My dad had to take a
boat somewhere, and my mom went camping in Vermont with
her college friends. *one raised eyebrow*

However, after that, my mom joined my father taking boats
(and by boats I mean yachts...anywhere from 35' up) around
the world. They lived in Guatemala, Honduras, all over
Central America. They traveled the world. They went to
Turkey, Greece, Europe. They were married 7 years before
they had me, the first child.

My parents are still married to this day. And deeply,
deeply in love. And I see them together, and how they have
acted around eachother my whole life, and I know that is
EXACTLY what I want. I want the relationship with someone
that my parents have.

Now, I don't necessairly need the exact mode of proposal
(don't even think about it), or even doing the exact same
thing that they did; but to have that time
together....together every day, all day, for 7 years. That
is definately one way to get to know another person. If
you're on a boat in the middle of the ocean, there really
isn't anywhere you can go to get away from the other
person. That is one way you can tell if it's going to work
out between 2 people.

It's the relationship that I want. I am in the minority
among my friends, because my parents are still together.
And I know how lucky I am. My dad took me sailing with him
from Greenwich, CT to Newport, RI on a 65' sailboat. I was
about 3 at the time. How many men do you know who would
even be willing to do that with an older child? It was
just me and him. And I do have memories (albeit vague
ones) of that trip. My dad chaperoned numerous school
trips. My mom was a stay at home mom through out the
public school years of her 3 children. It was decided by
my parents that she would be a mom and my father would
work. It was a conscious decision that they made together.

Now, why am I telling you all this? Because I'm scared to
death that I won't find that. Yes, we are all individuals,
and experience things differently. I understand that. But
what if I make the wrong decision? What if I pick the
wrong person? Conversly, what if the right person comes
along but I'm too scared that he's the wrong one?

Thoughts like these run through my head. I do not dwell on
them. I prefer to live my life. But I envy the
relationship that my parents have.....and am so happy that
I at least have intimate knowledge of a working and happy