No Leaf Clover
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2001-07-10 04:13:06 (UTC)

Family Wars

Ever wanna take one of your family members and choke the
living shit out of them cause they wont listen to you or
they chose not to reconize you as a family member? *raises
hand* I do! I do! My Aunt and I have never realy been on
the same page. She hates me, I dislike her. It started
prolly when I was really young. My Mom and her never
really got along. I can vividly remember my mom and my
aunt getting into a fist fight in our backyard, over me. I
dont remember exactly what the fight was about, but I
remember the fight. My mother won. Anyway, my Aunt never
showed any interest in me or ever really supported my
ideas. She's the one who told me that I would never amount
to anything. She also told me I'd never be a singer (which
was my dream) because of my weight. Shattered my dreams at
a young age, but to this day I will not sing in front of
ppl. Anyway I'm goin to FL in 2 weeks where my Dad's side
of the family is currently located, along with my Dad.
Every year I go through the same thing. Weather or not I'm
going to be able to see my cousins. See... bein my Aunt
hates me and all she forbids them to see me. She wont let
them talk to me via phone, email, IM, face to face,
anything. I hate it. Well today I got a hold of Jessica,
my younger cousin. She was at my gramma's and she IM'd
me. To make a long story short she told me some of the
things her mom says about me. When the kids asked if they
could see me she simply said, "She's a freak and I dont
want my kids growing up like her." First of all I got
pissed. She has no room or right to diss me in anyway.
Not that I'm saying bein called a freak is a bad thing, but
the way she addressed it, it wasnt good. What gets me is
she will not let the past in the past. She hold grudges
and I cant stand it. Something I did when I was 16..she's
still gonna hold against me like it happened yesterday.
Everyone else in my family has delt with it and even talked
to me about it...but her. What happened is I slept with
her BF at the time. Big mistake I know. I admit, I aint
proud of it but I dont regret it either. *ugh* This whole
thing sort of irritates me. I mean its between me and
her. Yet SHE chooses to involve the kids. My older cousin
knows what I did. We've talked about it and she has
forgiven me and even thanked me. She told me I helped her
family out without even acknowledging it. She saw good in
what I did. Well I told Jessica to relay the messege to
others... I'll be down there in 2 weeks. If her mother has
anything to say to me she better say it then. I will
confront her about it and get it over with. I'm sick of
her bad mouthing me, and I'm not there to defend myself.
We'll see what happenes in 2 weeks. I'm goin to bed. G-
~*Smoochie Boochies*~

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